A Lost Promise
by LadyBastet92
Summary: Over a hundred years ago, Alice left Underland with a promise to return, but never did. Now in the modern day, an Alice Kingsley finds herself in Underland, with no memories of her old friends and adventures, but with a whole new challenge to face. HxA MD
1. Prologue: A Lost Promise

**A/N: Welcome to my first **_**Alice in Wonderland**_** fic!**

**So my explanation for this? Well, lately I have been remarkably unmotivated and uninspired to write, but after I saw this film a couple of days ago, I think I might have just found the inspiration I needed. I am a huge fan of Tim Burton, and I love what he did with this story, especially concerning the relationship between the Hatter and Alice. This specific idea popped up after reading many fanfics with Alice coming back to Underland and reuniting with the Hatter, and I thought to myself – **_**what if Alice didn't come back?**_** Or, more specifically, died before she could? And this is where this story came from. Don't worry, this chapter is not a one-shot – there is a story for Alice even after she dies. It'll make sense as the story goes along!**

**This is also my first attempt at a multi-chaptered in fic in…like…ever. So even though I am now again inspired, let's see if I can keep my motivation up!**

**Please comment, rate and enjoy!**

_Tic. Tok. _

_Tic. Tok._

_Breathe. In. Breathe. Out._

_Why is this so hard?_

_Hhhhhard. H-Hare. Ha…Hat. Hatter. _

_Mad Hatter. My Hatter…_

"Doctor, what are we to do? She's been raving on and off like this for hours."

_Raving. R-a-v-i-n-g…Rrrrr…raven. Ri…Wri…Writingdesk. How is a raven?..._

"It's the fever, Mrs. Kingsley. It's to be expected, I'm afraid."

_Fever. Feather. Fie. My. My…_

"I'm sorry. The most you can do now is remain with her and comfort her in her final hours. She doesn't have much longer."

_Die. _

_Dying._

_I'm dying?_

"Oh my Alice…my sweet, sweet Alice…"

Alice could feel her head being cradled in her mother's arms that shook with uncontrollable sobs. Alice had always hated it when her mother cried. Mrs. Kingsley was normally so sure and strong around Alice and her sister. The last time she remembered her mother crying was after her father had died. Alice had stayed up with her mother every night after the funeral, the typical Victorian ideals of acting poised and unmoving at all times washed away with their sorrow, as they cried together and comforted each other. Every tear her mother shed was so unnerving and heartbreaking, it felt like a dagger in Alice's stomach. Alice desperately wanted to open her eyes and tell her mother everything was going to be alright. But she couldn't. She couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't wake up. Why couldn't she wake up?

"Please don't be upset mother. S-she wouldn't have wanted us to be upset." Alice could hear the strain in Margaret's voice as she tried to stifle her own sobs. Oh, her dear sister. How Alice wanted to embrace her and kiss her cheek one last time. How she wanted to tell her absolutely everything she had done those months ago, everything she had discovered. She would have taken Margaret with her, if she had wanted. She would have loved Underland so very much.

_Underland…_

She wasn't going back to Underland.

She would never go back to Underland.

Suddenly, Alice felt a sharp tremor run through her body as this realization flooded her with dread and horror. Her previously muddled mind was cruelly shaken back into sense in an instant, her reality finally overwhelming her. This was no dream – this was a nightmare. A terrible, all too true nightmare. She began to moan wretchedly and thrash against her mother's arms weakly, desperately trying to free herself from the nightmare's deadly grip.

"Alice, what's wrong?" asked Mrs. Kingsley, concern mixing with the sorrow in her voice. She wrapped her arms around Alice even tighter as Alice pitifully continued to resist, like a prisoner struggling against the binds of some horrible monster. Mrs. Kingsley placed a hand on Alice's forehead, trying to calm her. "Alice, it's me. Alice, everything is alright."

_I can't leave. I can't die yet. Please. I made a promise._

_I promised him…I…I promised him…_

"Alice, who did you promise? Please Alice, talk to me!"

_I'm not ready to go. I have to stay. Please. Please, don't take me yet. I told him I'd be back…I promised him…_

"Margaret, run and fetch back the doctor! _Quickly!_"

_Don't make me go! Mother, don't let them take me! Please mother, please!_

"Shhh, stop screaming Alice. I'm here! I'm here. Everything is going to be alright."

Alice could feel herself slipping. She suddenly stopped struggling and instead grasped her mother's arms, desperate not to let go, but she couldn't keep her grip. She felt all around her, frantic for something left from her world to hold onto, but found nothing. She couldn't hold on to her mother much longer.

"Alice, can you hear me?"

She couldn't. The sound of her mother's voice was nothing more but a fraction of an echo in Alice's mind, before it started to disappear along with the rest of the world around her.

_Please_, Alice whimpered pleadingly into the void_, I can't leave…_

But her protests did nothing to help her. She was beyond all help or control now. She began to fall. Down down down. Nothing to see, nothing to feel, nothing to think. Falling and fading. Into oblivion she went.

Then, out of the darkness, a hint of light emerged. Before her, Alice could see the glittering of two emerald eyes. Those gleaming eyes she knew so well, those eyes that had become her entire world. They silently pleaded with her, urged her to follow them back. Alice tried to run towards them, her arms outstretched towards her last chance. But she couldn't – she was falling too quickly. She couldn't keep up with them. Then they disappeared, and Alice was alone.

_I promised him._

Her final though wavered in the empty air for a second before evaporating with the shadows. She breathed her last breath, miserably surrendering to the never-ending fall through death's rabbit hole.

Then there was nothing. Not even a tic to keep her heart in time.

Only someone left behind to keep it for her.


	2. Chapter 1: The New Beginning

**A/N: I'm sorry this relatively uninteresting chapter is so long. It's more or less the "exposition" chapter, setting up the story and characterization my "new" Alice. I'm sorry if this chapter bores you, but I'm glad I wrote it at least for purposes of characterization.**

**To make things a bit clear: yes, this is an Alice from the modern day. However, she's only in the modern day/world for this and a few other chapters. Don't you fret, we'll be in Underland very soon! Also, I should let you know, this **_**will**_** eventually be an Alice/Hatter fic. It's pretty much canon by this point anyway!**

**That's all for now. Please review and enjoy!**

_"Daddy…Daddy, I had another bad dream."_

_"It's alright, sweetheart. Everything is fine. It was only a dream."_

_"But this one seemed so real. And it was scary Daddy. Really scary."_

_"Well, how about you tell me happened in the dream?_

_"Well…there was this man."_

_"Was the man scary?"_

_"No…not really…I mean…the dream wasn't really a _scary_ dream Daddy. It was bad."_

_"And why was it bad, sweetheart?"_

_"Because the man was crying."_

_"Did seeing the man cry make you feel sad?"_

_"Yes, but it also made me feel bad."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I think it's my fault."_

"Halt! Put down your lances, the round is over!"

The two figures in white suits and masks that stood in the center of the training room floor lowered their weapons at the teacher's command. The taller of the two fighters dropped his "épée" fencing sword and pulled off his mask, his face red with sweat and frustration.

"Phillipe, 4; Alice 15. I'm sorry Phillipe, but you're going to have to work harder if you ever expect to best Alice."

The petite fencer then pulled off her mask, her face also burning but with a grin of satisfaction plastered on it. "Brian's right, Phillipe," said Alice, panting a bit with adrenaline, "You're getting better, but you've a while to go."

Phillipe scowled her (half-playfully, half-irritated) and complained "How is it is that such a small and quiet girl like Alice is such a bloody good fighter?"

"Alice has been fencing since she was six, and I daresay her size only gives her an advantage in the ring," said Brian, none too humbly. "That girl is as nimble as a mouse on her feet. The best things come in small packages, don't you agree?"

Alice only smiled in response as she ran her figures through her pixie-cut blond hair and wiped the sweat off her brow. Compliments like this weren't exactly rare coming from Brian. He had been teaching Alice to fence since she moved to London four years ago, and was with her every step of the way those final years as she learned and progressed. The two of them rarely spoke outside of the fitness center, but they shared a special bond all the same. Brian often told Alice that he had absolutely no doubt that she was going somewhere great with her life, and although she didn't necessarily agree with him, to have someone show such confidence in Alice as Brian did was truly a blessing and a comfort.

"Alice, just a second," said Brian as she started to walk (well, sort of limp) towards the changing room to remove her gear.

"You already know how impressed I am with how much you've learned these last years, as well as by how great a fencer you've become," started Brian, with the usual twinkle in his blue eyes. "As an athlete you can always improve, of course. But, Alice, I think we've come to the point where there is very little left I can teach you."

Alice's smile waned a bit at his words. Was Brian going to ask Alice to stop taking fencing lessons?

Brian must have noticed the shadow cross her face, because he quickly added, "A-And _that's_ why I want to offer you the chance to become a teacher here. You've already learned so much, and I believe you have much to offer to potential new fencers."

Brian's smile grew at the sight of Alice's face instantly lighting up. "So, would you be interested?"

Alice had to struggle to keep herself from acting too excited and keep a mature mind as she considered the proposition. "Then this is a permanent position?"

"Yes. You'll be earning as much as all the employees here. Now, I realize you'll still want to keep your job at the office as well, but I think we could arrange the hours for it to work, especially if you're willing to work weekends," said Brian, unable to keep his own eagerness from showing through his business-like words.

Alice worked part-time at a nearby housing company five days a week, mostly in the early mornings. She dedicated the rest of her day to attending classes at a local college in London and going to fencing lessons in the evening. Alice's mood began to sink a bit as she realized that trading her lessons for a permanent job would pack her schedule tighter then it had even been before. Not that she had much of a choice…

Alice was bumped out of her thoughts by the gentle touch of Brian's hand on her shoulder. He looked at her kindly, but with a look of concern – and looked _too _knowingly to Alice's liking.

"Alice, are you having some trouble?" Brain whispered softly.

"No, of course not," said Alice briskly. "I mean, things have been a little tight with money and scheduling, but I'm _hardly_ a starving artist, Brain. I have good living conditions and a paying job. I get by. Not to mention the money my father left me…"

Alice paused as Brain's eyes pierced her own with that all too-knowing gaze. It was nearly impossible for her to keep anything from him. Since she had been in London, Brain was almost a second father to her. Despite only knowing her for a few years, Brian knew Alice almost inside and out, continually able to read her every mood and thought.

For the introverted and emotionally-guarded Alice, this could be frustrating beyond end.

"Alice, you know if you want to talk to me about anything, I'm right here. I have always been. Your father was a dear friend of mine, and you are very dear to me too. I realize you are now an independent woman, but even adults sometimes need help," said Brian delicately with a somber but kind look on his face. "Don't be afraid or ashamed you want to talk."

Alice placed her hand over his. She squeezed it lovingly, then slowly pulled it off her shoulder. "Thank you Brian. I'm grateful. I really am." Alice gave him a small smile, then quickly turned her back to him and headed towards the changing room. She didn't want Brian to see the falseness in that smile. And she knew that if she had lingered another second he would have.

It wasn't that Alice wasn't thankful for Brian and everything he had done. She was. He obviously cared much about Alice, and she cared a lot about him as well. He was a wonderful friend and teacher, and she was blessed to have him in her life. But ever since her father's death, it became harder for her to be around him. He reminded Alice too much of her own father, and the memories they shared when he was alive. Almost everything did. It wasn't Brian's fault, but Alice wasn't ready to face her ghosts head-on quite yet.

For as long as Alice could remember, it had always been her and her father. Alice's mother had died in a car accident when she was two years old. She had no grandparents to visit (two were dead, one moved to New Zeeland after the death of her husband, and the other hated both London and children), no relates to invite to Christmas dinner (both her mother and father were single children), and not many friends to speak of growing up. She was always considered "odd" and "out-of-place" by the other children. The only one who ever totally understood and embraced her "oddness" was her father.

He was a businessman, and because of this he and Alice were constantly moving. Alice didn't mind this so much; the adventurous and high-spirited girl loved visiting new "worlds". Her father would often invent stories to tell Alice for every new place they went, such as "The Black-Tailed Rabbit Of Dubai" and "The Green Eyed Swan On The Seine". Alice would help him as he went along, cutting in to add her own details to his fantastical stories. More often than not, Alice and her father would go out exploring their "new world" sometime after to search for the peculiar yet enchanting creatures of their own creation. As a child, Alice always believed what her father had told her- that if you believed hard enough something is real, it would be. Alice, even after failing to find her storybook characters on every occasion, never once doubted her father's words.

But Alice had grown up. And she now knew that, no matter how hard she wished or believed, her father was never coming back.

And Alice had to grow up fast. As a young woman at 21, Alice was completely independent both financially and when it came to running her own life. She owned a small apartment in London and lived only with her cat, Dinah. She had no one to prepare her meals for her, clean her apartment, or help her with money. It had been that way for three years, even before her father died. But it was only after her father's death that Alice finally understood what it felt like to be completely alone.

It was about nine at night when she got off the tube and arrived at her apartment. Her black and white speckled cat, Dinah, cheerfully greeted Alice as she opened the door. After putting down the groceries she got on her way home, Alice picked up Dinah and smiled.

"Hello, dearie," said Alice as she lovingly nuzzled Dinah with her nose. "Did you miss me today?"

The way that Dinah meowed impatiently and struggled to get free implied that, though she might have missed Alice, she missed her food more.

"Alright, I can take a hint," said Alice playfully, putting the cat down before locking the door behind her. Alice then continued on with her nightly ritual: she removed her coat, fed Dinah in their small kitchen, put together a small dinner for herself as Dinah happily ate her own, and allowed herself some time to breathe and relax as she finished eating. Dinah purred and pressed against Alice's leg, her cat's way of saying thank-you .

Not long after eating, Alice sighed as she pulled out her textbooks from the bookshelf in the living room. She had an exam the next day in Biology, and she knew she had to pass it with flying colors if she had any chance of moving on in that class. And she had to move on in that class if she had any chance of achieving her university degree, and she had to achieve her degree if she had any chance of following her father's footsteps and becoming a professional businesswoman one day.

Needless to say, a day in the live of Alice Kingsley wasn't exactly a cakewalk

Dinah meowed irritably, seeming to complain about Alice's constant need to work and gone all the time. She jumped up onto the couch where Alice was sitting and poked her head under Alice's arm, urging her to leave her studies for one night.

"I can't Dinah. You know I can't," said Alice apologetically. Dinah, as if sighing disappointedly, crawled far enough away to where Alice couldn't pet her and curled up into a ball. She looked at Alice with her head hiding behind her tail and her eyes half shut, giving the impression of a catlike pout.

Alice giggled a bit, and reached out to scratch her ears despite the cat's aloof attitude. Though she tried to keep her cold demeanor, Dinah couldn't resist Alice for long. She eventually gave in and curled up closer to Alice, purring fondly. Alice smiled. _Silly cat._ Dinah was almost human the way she acted. Alice almost wished that she _was_ human. She still didn't have many friends, what with her unforgiving clock table. The only other person her age Alice really talked to was –

The phone rang that moment, and when Alice picked up the phone, she heard a familiar voice through the speakers. "Alice! How you doing dearie?"

_Speak of the devil_ thought Alice, though not without affection. "Hello Margaret," said Alive.

"I've been ringing you for hours!"

"I just got back from my fencing lessons," said Alice, leaning the phone against her shoulder and picking up a nearby textbook.

"Oh, yeah, that," said Margaret, with a small note of playful distain in her voice. Alice could imagine her rolling her eyes dramatically on the other end of the line. "I still don't understand why you do that, Al."

"Hey, I don't criticize your shopping "marathons", so don't criticize my athletic pleasures," replied Alice. "I like it. It's fun."

In reality, though, Alice had always liked the feel of a lance in her hand, even as a kid. Though it wasn't very "girlie" of her, she had always wanted to know how to fight with a sword. Sure, she loved the adrenaline and satisfaction that came from fencing, but a part of her didn't want to admit that she liked the sport because it gave her a sense of comfort. For whatever reason, holding a sword always made Alice feel safer. After her father died, she clung to fencing harder than ever before, as if fighting with a masked opponent would somehow protect her from the rest of the world. The world that delighted in tormenting Alice by reminding her of her father's empty presence at every corner.

Of course, she was too embarrassed to tell Margaret this. Margaret had been a wonderful friend to Alice since they had met at university. She had seen past Alice's "oddness" and instead strove to be good friends with her almost right away. Alice enjoyed Margaret's company, but she was a different sort of girl then Alice: fashionable, outspoken and frank. And as much as Alice loved Margaret, she sort of wished someone could _embrace_ her "oddness" again, like her father once did, rather than just look past it.

"Okay Al," said Margaret, using her affectionate nickname for Alice. "I get it. So what's up?"

"Well," said Alice as she opened her textbook to the chapter on the reproductive system, "I might have gotten myself a new job downtown."

Margaret squealed cheerfully, and Alice had to move the phone a bit away from her ears. Margaret acted like every little thing Alice accomplished was worth the Medal of Honor; it was one of the reasons Alice liked her so much. Margaret, though sometimes honest to the point of being blunt, was (well, almost) always very supportive of Alice.

"The fitness center offered me a full-time job to teach fencing," said Alice, resting the phone back on her shoulder with a grin.

"Al, that's bloody awesome! Are you going to take it?" said Margaret excitedly.

Alice paused a moment before answering. "I don't know," said Alice slowly. "I already have so much on my plate…"

"Hey, more money is always a good thing, no?"

"Yeah, I guess so," said Alice, though she didn't sound so sure.

"Well, I have other good news as well," continued Margaret, sensing correctly that Alice didn't want the job-subject pushed any further at the moment. "You remember my brother's friend Stan, right? The law student I introduced you to a few weeks ago?"

Alice resisted the urge to groan at the sound of Stan's name. How could any news involving Stan be _good_ news? "Yes Margaret, I do."

"He's been talking a lot about you," hinted Margaret.

"I could imagine," said Alice, less than enthusiastically.

"He's handsome," Margaret edged further.

"I know. Trust me, I know," Alice said with a hint of sarcasm and annoyance in her voice. It's not like Stan would have anyone_ forget_ how handsome he was.

"He has a good amount of cash…"

"Well, money isn't _everything_," said Alice, not bothering to hide the spite in her voice this time.

"Oh, come off it Alice, you know he fancies you!" said Margaret, giving up on her game. "Why the hell don't you just go out with him?"

"Because he's not _right _for me Margaret!" said Alice, her voice rising a bit.

"And why not?" asked Margaret stubbornly.

"Because…because he just isn't," said Alice exasperatedly. "And because I simply don't like him back. _That's_ why he wouldn't be right for me." There were a good number of other reasons as well, but Stan was Margaret's friend, and Alice truly didn't want to hurt her. But lately, all of their conversations seemed to lead straight to Stan, which always led to some sort of disagreement between the two.

"Listen, Al, I'm not going to force you to do anything," said Margaret, failing to sound as cool as she would have liked. "But you can't keep waiting for your Prince Charming to come along."

"I'm _not_!" Alice almost shouted into the phone, causing Dinah to start.

"Yes, you are. You've often told me how you think that there's someone out there for you. And there is. But you can't expect him to be _perfect_ Alice. You're waiting for a demi-god to sweep you off your feet, and that's _not_ going to happen," said Margaret, sounding more than just a bit judgmental.

That did it for Alice. It was hard enough dealing with the complexities of her life by herself. She didn't need her _friends _criticizing it as well. And she _especially_ didn't need it tonight. Trying extremely hard to be polite, Alice still spoke quite tartly through the speaker. "Sorry, Margaret, it's late, and I have an exam tomorrow. I should go. Goodnight."

She hung up the phone and sighed. Alice hated it when Margaret brought up Stan. It always ruined everything.

Truth of the matter was, though she couldn't bring herself to say it to Margaret's face, Stan was a downright _prick_. He was egotistical, self-absorbed, and worst of all, unfeeling almost to the point of being cruel towards animals. Alice knew for a fact that Stan used to shoot his beebee gun at the stray dogs and cats on the street as a kid. She knew this because Stan told Alice herself over a cup of coffee, not acting the least bit guilty or ashamed of his nasty acts that horrified Alice. How on earth could she be in a relationship with a man who would as easily kick her own precious Dinah as if she was a can on the street?

Frustrated, Alice tried to calm herself down by focusing on her reading. She sat on her couch, with her textbook and notebook on her lab and Dinah once again sleeping peacefully by her side. As time passed and the sun set, Alice began to feel her eyes droop a bit. She checked her watch. It was already eleven o'clock, and she had finished most of the reading. All she had to do was make it another couple of pages. She could push herself through that for sure. But the idea of resting her eyes and a comfy bed sounded really good at the moment…

"_Meow!_"

Alice turned towards Dinah, who was scratching her paw on the glass door leading to the balcony. Dinah kept meowing and looking pleadingly at Alice.

"Dinah, I can't let you out on the balcony," said Alice with a yawn. "You could fall."

But Dinah didn't give up. She meowed even louder and scratched the door at an urgent pace. Alice groaned, and forced herself up off the couch. Perhaps Dinah had caught sight of some pigeon on the balcony that scared her? She looked outside the glass door, and indeed noticed something on the balcony.

Alice yawned, and then chuckled.

"Oh, Dinah, it's only a little white rabbi-"

Alice froze.

Wait.

What was a rabbit doing on the balcony of a fifth story floor in the middle of London?

"…Alice?"


	3. Chapter 2: Follow The White Rabbit

**A/N: I guess I should clarify, since people have been a bit confused after the past chapters: the Alice in the prologue is the Alice from the film (in Victorian times), and this Alice belongs to the modern day. How they both connect will become clearer in the next chapter, I hope. You'll just have to wait and see what happens =)**

**Anyone who stumbled upon or is watching this story, feel free to come out of hiding and tell me how you think the story is going so far! **

**Hope you enjoy the update! **

_The rabbit just spoke to me. The _rabbit_ just _spoke_ to me._

Alice closed her eyes, slowly counted to ten, then opened them again.

It was still there.

"Dinah…you see it too, right?" whispered Alice.

Dinah meowed loudly and scratched at the window exactly where the white rabbit – who was wearing a _waistcoat_, Alice noticed with a gasp - stood on the other side of the glass. She obviously saw it as well.

Alice took a cautious step forward. The rabbit didn't move. Alice shut her eyes again and shook her head ferociously, as if trying to wake herself from a dream. Then she pinched herself as hard as she could, until the pain became too much to bear. When she opened her eyes, it still wasn't gone.

"You must come along Alice. You're terribly late."

There was no mistake. Although his voice was a bit muffled due to the glass between them, the creature had _definitely_ talked.

"Animals don't talk. Animals _can't_ talk," Alice muttered to herself, refusing to believe what she was seeing. "And they definitely _don't_ wear waistcoats."

But the hallucination didn't disappear, even after trying to reassure herself with logic. Instead, he reached into his waistcoat, pulled something out of it, and pointed at it urgently, his whiskers and ears twitching frantically. It was a pocket-watch. A _rabbit_ in a _waistcoat _with a _pocket-watch_.

"Well, Dinah, I think I've finally cracked," Alice chuckled weakly. She tried to calm herself with humor, but her voice quivered nevertheless. So at last it had happened then – Alice had finally lost her head. With stress or depression or something she inhaled off the streets of London, Alice didn't know, but she _had_ to be completely mad to be seeing what she was seeing.

"No time to dilly-dally my dear," said the rabbit, putting his pocket-watch back in his waistcoat. "We must be on our way." And without a moment's delay, he turned around – and jumped right off the balcony of her fifth story apartment.

_Oh, God_ thought Alice with dread, her chest squeezing as she threw open the glass door and looked over the balcony. She had expected to see the splattered remains of the white rabbit on the pavement below. But instead, the rabbit was safely hopping down each of the balconies below her, defying everything Alice had been taught about the laws of physics. Alice watched in stunned silence as the rabbit made his way safely to the pavement in front of the building below.

"Hurry up Alice, we haven't got all night!" yelled the rabbit back up to her, before briskly hopping away.

Alice, her mind racing with the impossibilities of those past few minutes, didn't have time to reason with herself as she ran out the door and took off down the flight of stairs. A rush of cold air hit her as the doors at street level opened, and she wished she had remembered to put on her coat. But the thought quickly disappeared when she saw a puff of white moving a few meters ahead of her. He had already crossed the busy street in front of her apartment, as was now hurriedly making his way down the street.

_Impossible_, thought Alice, _how could he have survived crossing that intersection?_ But she took off after the rabbit anyway, with cars honking and beeping at her as she ran across the street. It wasn't slowing down. For a little rabbit, it was moving at a remarkably fast pace. Alice had to keep jogging to keep that little puff of white in sight. Cars sped past her, an array of lights and colors dancing in front of her eyes that just dared Alice to take her eyes off her line of sight. It was all very disorienting, and it made Alice's mind grow even muddier with exhaustion.

It was when the rabbit wiggled its way through a park fence that Alice finally stopped running. She starred at the closed gate to the park and forced herself to start thinking logically. She was chasing a _hallucination_. I frighteningly real-looking one, but a hallucination none the less. Of course, she couldn't be _sure_ that that rabbit was a hallucination, but considering the thing spoke to her and was wearing a _waistcoat_ for God's sake...well, there simply wasn't any other explanation. She should've been running to the nearest head-clinic, not after some white rabbit.

Yet at the same time…she sort of felt that she_ had_ to follow the white rabbit. Like she had even maybe done it once before. Not that she ever _had_, but those feelings of familiarity and purpose still lingered. Uncomfortably so. If she decided to turn around and go home that very instant, Alice knew that she would not sleep for all the tiredness in the world. She had always been that way, even as a little girl: if something made her curious, she would not rest until she found her answer. _Curiosity can be a maddening thing,_ thought Alice sourly. Against her better judgment, Alice tossed herself over the chain-link fence, into the darkness of the park.

"Rabbit? Where are you?" whispered Alice, squinting her eyes. It was pitch black. She could get in trouble if she was caught roaming around a closed park at night. _Maybe this isn't a good idea…_

"I'm here Alice. Follow me." She could barely make out the outline of the little creature in the dark, and she scurried to keep up with him. They hadn't gone far before the white rabbit suddenly disappeared.

_I _told_ you it was a hallucination_ Alice reprimanded herself hotly. She then noticed something in the ground before her, her eyes finally having time to properly adjust. It was a hole. _A rabbit hole_, Alice realized. A rather big one for such a small rabbit. She kneeled down and cautiously leaned her head down the hole. She couldn't see the bottom of it – it darker then night down that thing. _Damn_, thought Alice, her eyebrows furrowed with disappointment. "Hello? Um…Mr…Rabbit?" she called down, her voice reverberating against its thick dirt walls.

Suddenly, Alice could feel the earth beneath her hands start to give way. She didn't even have time to properly process what was going on before she felt herself slipping. And with an ear-piercing scream, she fell. Down the rabbit hole, down into the abyss, down into the unknown…

_Down, down, down…_

_"Do you suppose it's_ the_ Alice?"_

_"Of course it's _the_ Alice. I've brought her twice before. You'd think I wouldn't make a mistake the third time around!"_

_"But look at her hair, McTwisp! _The_ Alice's hair was long and golden, and thi-"_

_"_This _Alice's hair is just as golden. Hair and size are things that are easily changed, Mally, but there are quite a number of things in a person that even the White Queen's potions can't distort. Look at her face, her eyes –"_

_"I would if they would _open _already."_

At first, the voices were nothing more than a distant ringing in her ears. Then they grew louder and clearer as she started to regain consciousness. As her muddled mind finally began to clear, she could process that she was lying down, and resting her head of the softest pillow Alice had ever felt in her entire life. The room she was in smelled like cinnamon; like her tiny kitchen in Paris that one winter's day when she had made ginger cookies with her father as a child. It was very relaxing, and very pleasant.

She forced her eyelids to flutter open. She started to lose the sleepiness in her eyes. Alice squinted to properly focus them, and once the figures lost their blurriness, she could see an assortment of animals that were all looking down at her, including the white rabbit.

_The white rabbit._

"Feeling better now, dear?" he asked chipperly.

Alice was suddenly wide awake. Her heart pounding, she sprang from the bed and ran to the nearest door. It was locked. She turned around to face the creatures, who were all giving her curious looks. She pressed her back to the marble wall defensively. "W-who are you?" she demanded, her voice quivering.

A small dormouse hopped up to a nearby desk. It pointed its finger accusingly towards the white rabbit and said in her high-pitched voice, "I _told_ you it was the wrong Alice! I _told _you, McTwisp!"

The white rabbit lowered his long ears, his whiskers twitching with nervousness once again. "Ah…well, you see Mally, it's more complicated then you think, I'm afraid."

Alice turned her head towards the white rabbit, and frowned. "_You!_"

The rabbit lowered his ears even more and began to slink back behind the other animals. Alice took the chance to study them all: not including the dormouse and the white rabbit (_both_ of whom could talk!), there was also a dodo bird, a couple of bloodhounds, and a march hare (who was twitching at quite a frightening rate, Alice noticed). The largest of the red hounds staggered up to Alice and tentatively sniffed her leg.

"She smells just like Alice," he said, turning towards the others. "I mean, there are a few other odd smells in there that I cannot recognize, but the undeniable Alice-smell is all there underneath."

Alice, flabbergasted, snapped her head towards the rest of the creatures. "I guess it's too much to suppose that you _all _can speak?" she asked.

"Of course we can speak," the blue Dodo bird said with a chuckle. "Imagine, animals not talking…"

"She must have hit her head quite hard on the way down, poor thing," said the female bloodhound sympathetically.

"You shouldn't have taken Alice out of the portal," said the dormouse sharply to the rabbit. "We should have made sure she could do it herself! That's how we knew last time!"

"Well, you weren't exactly convinced even _after_ she passed the trial the last time," said the rabbit indignantly, perking up behind the bloodhounds, "And besides, the girl hit her head quite badly and was unconscious. I thought it only right that I should help her." He puffed his furry chest up a bit and snorted huffily. "She's had quite a hard day already."

Alice couldn't help but give the creature a small smile. She appreciated the help…whatever exactly it was. At least they weren't _evil _talking animals. At least, as far as she could tell.

"She hit her head quite hard indeed…" muttered the dormouse, hopping onto the bed. The hare then burst out with a cackling laugh that startled everyone in the room, but especially Alice. Noticing the eyes staring in his direction, he put his paws over his mouth and lowered his ears, his whole body shaking harder then Alice's was. It was quite unsettling. But nothing more unsettling then what suddenly appeared next to her – and this time she was_ sure_ it had come out from thin air. Alice screamed.

It was a cat. An unusually colored, evaporating , _levitating_ cat, with a grin so disturbingly wide Alice didn't think possible for cats to wear. Then again, most everything in this place was impossible so far…

The cat floated by Alice's head, starring at her with its two giant orbs for eyes. "Oh, it that any way to greet an old friend?" He tisked and shook his massive head. "I thought you would have missed me, dear Alice."

Alice's heart was about ready to pound right out of her chest. "I don't know any of you," she said, losing the waver in her voice as she tried to regain control of herself. "This is all a dream. A crazy, mad, mixed-up dream."

"In the name of Mirana, not this dream business again," moaned the dormouse, slapping her hands on her forehead.

"Has she awakened, my friends?"

The door that had been locked before then magically swung open on its own, and a beautiful lady decked in white entered the room. Alice sighed, relieved to see another human – something that was _supposed_ to talk. Although, she was a bit odd-looking, with her dark eyebrows that greatly contrasted with her white skin. She also literally seemed to float when she walked, which was a bit off-putting, but it was negated by the kindly look on the woman's face.

"Yes you Majesty," said the creatures, parting like the red sea as the lady made her way towards Alice. _Majesty?_ thought Alice, looking at the golden crown atop the woman's head. She had never met a royal before. She wasn't sure if she should bow or curtsy or what. So she simply stood there and tried her best to not look as confused as she was feeling.

"Oh, Alice, it is wonderful to see you again!" The Queen smiled and clasped her hands together in delight.

"I'm sorry…your…Highness?...but I'm afraid I don't know who you are," said Alice with less control in her voice then before. The lady's lips turn downwards for a split second, but then were quickly smiling again - though not quite a brightly as before, Alice noticed.

"I am Mirana, the White Queen," she said with a light curtsy. Alice tried to curtsy in return, thinking it only polite, but it was rather difficult to do so in a sweater and jeans. The White Queen covered her mouth with a dainty white hand as she chucked sweetly.

"Your Majesty," Alice said, a bit flustered since she had never been in the presence of royalty before, "I'm afraid I don't know where I am. I mean, I know this is probably just a dream, but this has to be a _place,_ even if it's in a dream." Or did it? Alice had never really cared for psychology much in school, and was now wishing she had decided to study it a second year. Maybe it could have helped her with this whole dream mess.

"You are at the White Castle of Marmoreal, my dear. At the center of Underland." _Surely my unconscious can create a more imaginative name then _that, Alice thought sullenly. The Queen, as if reading her thoughts, then said quite seriously: "And this is not a dream, Alice. This world is very, very real."

"I'm sorry, your Majesty, but I'm finding that a bit hard to believe," said Alice, trying her best to sound confident, though Mirana's words shook her. A place like this, where animals could talk, cats could evaporate, and people could float – _real?_

The White Queen must have read Alice's emotions once again, for she gave Alice a heartwarming smile that magically seemed to reassure her that everything was going to turn out all right. Her smile was like the smell of cinnamon that wavered throughout the white room: warm, familiar and comforting. But…why _familiar_? She had never met this woman before…and yet…she felt almost as if she had…

It was too overwhelming a thought for Alice at that moment. Her pain must have been evident; Mirana quickly ordered everyone else out of the room and told her accompanying servants to fetch Alice something clean to wear. Her own clothes were raked with mud and grass from the fall. Alice couldn't think how falling down a rabbit hole would lead her to a whole new land…but Alice just didn't want to think anymore. As the rabbit had said, it had been a very, very long day.

The servants returned with a beautiful white nightgown for Alice. It was made out of silk, the material slipping through her fingers when she touched it, and was beautifully embroidered in gold and silver. It looked like something out of a storybook, something a Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella might wear to bed.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality," Alice said, bowing this time to the White Queen. "I really appreciate it."

"Would you like some sliphar, my dear?" asked the White Queen with her un-humanly airy voice. Having spent a bit more time with Mirana, Alice was beginning to notice many things that were much more _un_-human about her then human: the way her arms were always suspended in midair like a statue, the unearthly soothing tone in her voice, the fact that she floated instead of walked. Even if she was the most human-like thing Alice had met since arriving to this place, she certainly wasn't like any other person Alice had ever known.

"Um…sliphar?"

"It's a sleeping potion. One drop, and you're instantly in a dreamless sleep," responded Mirana with a childish twirl.

Alice frowned. "No thank you…your Majesty. I think I will sleep fine tonight." Although the "dreamless sleep" part was appealing to her, Alice had no intention in drinking any potions or the like from someone she had just met, even if she was a Queen, and a very hospitable one at that.

_Besides, how can someone have a dream within a dream? It's nonsense._ But Alice just didn't feel as sure as she did before about this all being a dream. Everything seemed so real. But maybe she would wake up tomorrow in her apartment in London with Dinah by her side. Maybe all she needed to do to wake up was to fall asleep. Impossible, but hey, at this point she was willing to try anything.

Mirana left the sliphar on the nightstand just in case, and floated gracefully out of the room as she said goodnight. Alice changed into her new nightgown, and fell quite _un_gracefully onto her bed with a soft _thud_. She couldn't believe it was already nighttime in – what did the Queen call it again? – Underland. It felt like just an hour or two ago it was well past midnight back in London, but the sun had just set here. Alice didn't allow herself to contemplate such things, however; she was asleep just a few seconds after her head hit the pillow.

Alice didn't know what time it was when she woke up again, but the moon was still out and shining through her balcony window. She took the chance to look around the room bathed in the moonlight. She hadn't noticed before how beautiful everything was. The room was made of marble, with engravings on the walls and floors that glittered like silver. The fireplace burned an off-orange flame; the source of the cinnamon smell, Mirana had told her. Everything was decked in white.

Alice was admiring this splendor sleepily when she heard voices outside her door. One was high-pitched and femininely squeaky (belonging to the dormouse, no doubt), along with the familiar voices of the white rabbit and the Queen, both of which were speaking in hushed voices. The dormouse, on the other hand, wasn't bothering to lower the volume of her voice one bit.

"She doesn't remember anything. _Anything._ What are we going to do when Hatter arrives?" squeaked the dormouse hotly.

"Mally brings up a good point, your Majesty," the white rabbit muttered. "He's not going to take the news easily."

"_Easily?!_ It'll damn near break his heart! A heart _she_ didn't deserve to have in the first place, the way she went off an abandoned us…him. Abandoned him." The dormouse's voice lost most of its vigor in those last few worlds. It was actually the closest Alice had heard the creature to sounding upset since Alice had met the ferocious dormouse.

"We cannot act on such matters at the moment," said the White Queen, her voice no more when a weak breath to Alice's ears. "Let us go to bed, my friends. We will sort out everything in the morning."

Alice heard the patter of different sized footsteps making their way down the hall. Once she couldn't hear them anymore, she sat up in her lavishly large bed. She couldn't make much sense of what they were talking about, and for some reason it nagged at her weary mind. Who was Hatter? And why would he be upset that she didn't "remember" him? Alice left her heart sink a little. It wasn't her fault, of course, but she didn't want to go breaking anyone's _heart_. But what could she do about it? They had obviously gotten the wrong girl; the girl everyone thought she was and everyone knew so well must have looked a lot like her.

But that didn't keep the unpleasant feeling from her chest. Unable to bear anymore confusingly painful thoughts, Alice grabbed the vial of sliphar from her nightstand and let a few drops fall into her mouth. She slid back down onto her pillows, and in just a few moments surrendered happily to her dreamless, painless sleep.


	4. Chapter 3: Found Myself In Wonderland

**A/N: This might be the last chapter I post for a while, since I have some exams and traveling coming up. But who knows, I might be able to fit another one in. Hopefully things are starting to make sense with this chapter, anyway.**

**Thank you for all your reviews! I really do appreciate it. Hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

The first thing Alice noticed when she woke up the next morning was how soft her bed was. The satin pillows and silk sheets felt like milk and honey to her stiff limbs. It was a wonderful sensation. She had never slept in such a gloriously comfy bed before.

Alice opened her eyes. She _had _never slept in this bed before. She couldn't be in her average-sized bed in her cramped apartment back in London. This bed was much too soft. And furthermore, there was no Dinah on her chest to wake her with the morning sun – the cat was on top of her every morning without fail.

Alice wasn't home.

She tossed the multi-layered covers off and slipped out of the gigantic bed. Instead of returning to her cozy, familiar room in London, Alice was still in the same room that she felt asleep in the other night. Sunlight poured in from the open windows and a light breeze moved the silk curtains by the balcony. Everything looked just a beautiful and surreal as it did the night before, if not more so.

Someone must have come into her room while Alice was sleeping: the fireplace was now light blue, causing the room to smell of lavender (another lovely yet nostalgic fragrance), and a white dress was laid out on a nearby chair. Like her nightgown, it was embroidered in silver and gold, but was made of a different material and had a more defined shape, suiting it better for proper daytime attire. It wasn't exactly a ball gown, but it was much different then Alice's usual casual clothing. She had never really cared for dresses, and Alice was already mentally preparing to ask the White Queen for her jeans and sweater back - until she put the dress on. It was _perfect_. It fit her in all the right places, and was colored to accentuate her white skin and blonde hair quite nicely. And it was so damn _pretty_. Alice felt like a princess in that dress. She was embarrassed at having such an out-of-character girly thought, and she silently reprimanded herself for it. But now that it was on, she couldn't bring herself to take it off.

She walked onto her balcony (which was roughly ten times bigger than the one back at her apartment) and let the sunlight give her a good look at this new land she was in. Alice couldn't help but gasp a bit at the sight. Nature reigned supreme in all directions, with never-ending forests and fields where Alice was used to seeing apartments and speeding cars from her own balcony. Instead of cars, the only movement she could see was a few creatures, both alone and in groups. Alice couldn't make out most of them in the shadow of the morning sun – but was that a _winged lion_ that she just saw? She squinted her eyes and confirmed that, indeed, it was.

_What kind of place have I tumbled into?_

Not a sound could be heard, except the faint sigh of the wind that gently caressed her short yellow hair. Such serenity was strange to her after living in a city that never slept for so long. But she couldn't say she didn't like it. Even if this place was completely bizarre, it _was _beautiful. It was a land right out of some medieval fairytale – no honking cars, no highways, no technology to be seen. Only a humble road here and there, and the rest was pure green. Even more amazing, the morning sun framed the entirety of this expansive land in a radiant gold hue. It was a magnificent marvel to look at.

"This is impossible," Alice muttered to herself, more in awe then in real denial of her circumstances. Her thoughts then left the surrounding beauty as she pondered over her own situation. Now that she was calm and not nearly as overwhelmed as she was feeling last night (that's not to say that she wasn't still overwhelmed, however), Alice could think with a much clearer mind. _Even if this _is_ all a dream_, she thought rationally, _that doesn't change my situation. Hoping this is a dream obviously doesn't get me out of here. I have to act just as I would if this were real life. _

Alice supposed it really shouldn't matter if she was dreaming or not, but she decided that if she was going to stay here, she had to carry on as if it wasn't a dream. Denial obviously didn't solve anything. And besides, everything here not only looked real, but felt real too, from the silk sheets of her bed to the wind on her face. She never in her life had a dream that was this vivid before.

But there was also her original theory: that she was _insane_. But crazy people have hallucinations – they don't physically pop into a brand new world just because they thought it up. At least, Alice _thought_ so. But even if she was mad, so what? She couldn't exactly casually walk up to a mental hospital now, could she? No, she was much too late for that. She was already stuck in her mind, if madness really was the cause.

But Alice didn't think she was mad. And she didn't think she was asleep anymore either. So she was stuck in a magical land with talking animals and floating people - but a place that real nevertheless.

A part of her wanted to go out and explore this mysterious new land. A childish, curious part of her. _The part that landed me in this mess in the first place_, Alice reminded herself. But another part of her was already ready to go home. To Dinah, to fencing, to _normality_. More than that, Alice had responsibilities back home. She couldn't just abandon them. What would happen to her poor cat if she was left alone for too long? Alice shuttered at the thought. Either way, Alice reasoned, it was probably best that she found the White Queen as quickly as possible. Mirana could explain some things to her at least, and at best get her home.

Alice left her room and wandered through the palace for the first time. Everything looked just like she had seen in pictures and imagined a royal castle would look like - apart from the fact that everything was decked in white. The floors, the doors, and even the vases that decorated the hallway were pure, blinding white.

Not a human or creature was in sight as she passed though. It wasn't until she reached the grand staircase that she saw signs of life. At the bottom of the stairs, a dozen or so people huddled around the White Queen. They were dressed in fancy Victorian suits and dresses (that were white, of course), and were all chatting and muttering about each other excitedly. But once they had caught sight of Alice at the top of the staircase, everyone fell silent. All eyes gazed in her direction, with different levels of curiosity on their faces. Alice could feel her face burning. She had never liked being the center of attention. It was quite discomforting, the way everyone was gaping at her, like she was a two-headed pig. (Of course, a two-headed pig could've been common in this place for all she knew.)

Mirana, with her uncanny ability to read Alice's mind (or maybe she was just _that _easy to read?), frowned slightly and broke the observers attention with a sharp clap of her hands. In a second all but the Queen had dispersed. With everyone gone, a bright smile lit up the queen's face and she waved Alice to come down the stairs with her tiny hands.

"Good morning, Alice!" said Mirana pleasantly. "I hope you found everything to your liking?"

"Everything was wonderful, thank you," Alice said while attempting to curtsy. It was much easier to do so in an actual dress, but it was still a strange and awkward gesture to her. She had never needed to curtsy before in her life, so she wasn't quite sure if she was doing it right

"Good good," said the queen briskly before taking Alice by the hand and leading her away. "Now, we have much business to attend to, so if you would follow me, my dear."

"Actually, your Majesty, I wanted to discuss with you –"

"Of course my dear," said Mirana, quickly yet politely cutting Alice off as she gently pushed the young woman from behind, hurrying them both along. "But there's something we must do first."

The two of them walked through a wide white doorway off to the side of the grand staircase. It was a kitchen, Alice realized. The biggest and most exquisite kitchen she had ever seen. Like everything else in the castle, it was bathed in marble white. Sunlight spewed from the gothic windows, highlighting the various pots, pans, bowls, and other familiar (and not so familiar) culinary items scattered on the walls and across a large table at the center of the room. The White Queen floated over to the table and began to pick and choose items from the different containers, moving as gracefully and lightly as a ghost as she did her work.

After a few seconds with neither of them talking (though the queen was humming to herself quite cheerfully), Alice supposed she might as well be the first one to speak.

"Your Highness, you've been very kind to me since I've arrived in…" she struggled to remember the name, "…Underland." _That was it. _"But you have to understand, I need to get home. I have a job and an academic life to upkeep, as well as my cat Dinah to take care of. Though this a very lovely place you keep, I was hoping you could tell me how I got here and how exactly I could get ho –" Alice paused, and her eyes widened. "Your Majesty…what are you doing?"

It was the eye that did it. While Alice was talking the White Queen had been putting various unrecognizable ingredients into a boiling pot. Alice hadn't paid them much mind…until the queen picked a large, sticky_ eye _from one of the containers. She could feel her stomach twist with revulsion as it plopped into the pot, causing the substance's mist to turn a purplish-orange. Alice had to struggle to keep a look of disgust and horror from her face.

Mirana, however, seemed very nonchalant about dropping an eye into a boiling pot, like it was something one did every day. She continued to hum cheerfully as she took a large spoon and held it in front of Alice's face. "Spit."

"_What?_"

"I need some sort of physical extraction for this potion to work. It's either your saliva, your blood or your urine, my dear. I would have supposed this would be the more preferable option for you," said the queen coolly, with that off-grin still plastered on her face.

Alice spit into the spoon, too eager to get out of the kitchen to ask questions; she had noticed other various human and non-human appendages and organs on the shelves (now that she knew that such things could exist in the queen's kitchen) and although she didn't normally have a problem seeing animal organs as a biology student, the thought of mixing human body parts into food and potions made her ready to retch. As Mirana poured the saliva into the pot, the mist again changed color to a dark, murky green.

"That should do it," said the White Queen pleasantly, setting the spoon on the table and suspending her arms in midair once again. "I would give it an hour, maybe two." She turned to Alice and smiled. "Go off and do as you wish until then."

"B-but your Majesty," said Alice, her voice rising in her urgency, "I have to get home _now_."

"The guards will lead you out back," said Mirana as if she hadn't heard, waving towards two white knights who stood at the door. "Your Bandersnatch will be very happy to see you again. Perhaps you can take him out for a ride."

Alice looked at her blankly. "My _what?_"

But much to her exasperation, the queen simply waved Alice out of the room without another word. With a sigh, she followed the silent white knights as they left the castle and eventually reached a crudely made wooden hut. The knights motioned for her to go inside. Alice slowly pushed open the door and peeked inside the hut.

She gasped with horror.

It was…Alice had no idea _what _it was. It was massive, with long claws and jagged teeth. Even though it was asleep, it still looked absolutely ferocious.

"M-_my_ Bander-what?" whispered Alice, but the knights had disappeared. And the creature had woken up.

One of its tiny eyes popped open at the sound of the door's squeak. A scream caught in Alice's throat as the creature stood up and started to make its way toward her. Petrified with fear, she couldn't react before the animal lunged at her. Alice was pinned underneath the creature's massive body in less than a second, its face just an inch or two away from hers. Her heart pounding, she squeezed her eyes shut and prepared for the rows of shark teeth to tear her apart.

But instead, Alice only felt wetness. It was the wet slobber of the creature's tongue licking on her face. _Maybe it's going to eat me_, she thought at first, but it just kept licking her, tickling her with its tongue until she couldn't help but giggle. Opening her eyes, Alice could see that the Bandersnatch was panting happily, its ears perked up and its golden eyes sparkling.

"Why…why you're nothing but an oversized puppy, aren't you?" said Alice with a smile. Still pinned to the ground, she tentatively reached up and began to scratch the Bandersnatch behind its ears. It closed its eyes and began to wag its enormous tail, causing the earth to tremble as it rapidly pounded against the ground. Alice laughed. It really_ was_ no more than a giant friendly dog.

The Bandersnatch backed away and allowed Alice to get back on her feet again before kneeling down in front of her. She guessed that she was supposed to ride it, but she hadn't ridden any sort of creature before in her life – she didn't even have her driver's license yet.

"No time like the present," muttered Alice, swinging herself onto the Bandersnatch with surprising ease. The feel of the creature's fur as she sat on it felt familiar in some strange way. But it couldn't have been familiar…could it? She had never seen this animal in her life. But then why did she feel like she knew how to ride it?

"This place just gets more and more confusing," muttered Alice. She sighed, then patted the creature on its side and said, "Want to take a look around?"

As if the Bandersnatch could understand her, the creature suddenly took off at a frightening speed. She dug her fingers to its fur, clinging for dear life. But after just a few minutes Alice found that she could stay on the creature perfectly fine. She soon felt comfortable enough to trust the Bandersnatch and look around. They sped through green fields until they reached the top of a high hill, where the Bandersnatch finally slowed to a stop.

It was quite a sight, even more beautiful then what she saw from the balcony that morning. She could see the grass roll and the trees sway beneath the wind. From where she was sitting, Alice could also see a hedge maze at the bottom of the hill. And a familiar white dot right at the entrance of it.

"Down there," pointed Alice, and the Bandersnatch tumbled down the hill, the wind whipping her face and stinging her eyes. In less than two seconds they had reached the entrance of the maze, and Alice spotted the white rabbit in his waistcoat dash into it. Alice groaned, and said "Wait here," to the Bandersnatch before taking off after the white rabbit (once again).

It didn't take her long to find it. It was trapped at a dead end of the maze when Alice reached it. The poor thing was quivering like a leaf. Alice frowned.

"Relax; I'm not going to hurt you," she said in a tender voice, "I just want some answers, that's all."

"O-oh, Ah, of course," said the white rabbit, "You're Alice, I know you wouldn't hurt me." It let out a nervous laugh, seeming to calm down a bit. "I'm afraid it's just my nature to be a bit over-anxious, you see."

"What's your name?" asked Alice, kneeling down to where she could look straight into the rabbit's eyes.

"Nivens McTwisp, at your service m' lady," said the rabbit politely. Alice grinned as McTwisp gave her a gentlemen-like little bow. "Timekeeper of Underland."

"What does that mean?" asked Alice with furrowed brows.

"It means I keep Time, of course," said McTwisp, puffing out his white chest with pride. "You see, Time does not exist here in Underland. I am the only one who knows how to use it, because I am the only one who can travel to Upperland, where Time lives, and where you live as well."

"There's no such thing as time here?" asked Alice incredulously.

"Thus me being the Timekeeper, Alice," McTwisp chuckled. "The others here know of Time, but they don't really know who he is. They always speak of him, but they've never met him, you see."

Alice shook her head in disbelief. "I'm quite puzzled, Mr. McTwisp, and you seem smart. Perhaps you'll be able to answer some of my questions?"

Perking its ears, the rabbit responded, "I will try my best to answer them, though I can't promise that I'll always be able to. You know, Time and Fate love to have their secrets, even if they're not always worth much in the end."

Choosing to ignore the confusion of his last statement, she said, "Okay, here's one: why did you lead me out of my apartment and into the rabbit hole?"

"Oh, that's simple," said McTwisp with a smile. "The Oraculum prophesized that I would."

"What's that?" asked Alice, sitting down beside the rabbit under the shade of the hedges.

"It's tells us all that has been and will be. Well, it's doesn't exactly tell us_ all_ that will be; it writes itself as it goes along."

"So, it tells the future?" For once, Alice wasn't surprised. She supposed that she should stop being surprised at hearing and seeing such impossible stuff while she was here, anyway. It made it easier for her to go along with everything.

"It writes the future. Or draws it, more accurately. It told us that I was to bring you back to Underland, but it has yet to tell us _why_ you had to come back," said McTwisp.

"Wait, wait – _back_?" said Alice in disbelief. "I've never been here before in my life. How am I supposed to be coming back to a place I never went to in the first place?"

"Ah, but you did," said McTwisp, though a bit less confidently. "You were Underland's greatest Champion: you dethroned the Red Queen and slayed the Jabberwocky –"

"I've slain the _what_?" said Alice incredulously. "Mr. McTwisp, I can assure you I've never slain anything in my entire life."

"But you _did_," the white rabbit insisted. "Well…maybe not exactly _you_, but Alice defiantly did."

Alice was silent. After a minute or two of thinking, she leaned towards the white rabbit and asked slowly, "Being the Timekeeper, I bet you're very good with dates, aren't you?"

"Only one of the best, m' lady," said McTwisp proudly. "I know the exactly date and time of every trip I've taken to Upperland."

"And I'm assuming you brought me…Alice to Underland the first time, correct?" continued Alice.

"Indeed," said the rabbit with a nod.

"So McTwisp…what exactly was the date you brought me or Alice or whoever to Underland that time?"

"June 2nd, 1875," said the rabbit matter-of-factly, "At precisely 12:02 in the afternoon."

"And you know what date it was when you brought _me_ here?"

"December 2rd…2010," said the rabbit, nervousness slowly seeping into his voice. He was starting to catch on to what Alice was trying to do. "At…12:02 in the morning."

"And I'm sure you know, McTwisp," said Alice, crossing her arms. "That although time doesn't exist here in Underland, which explains why everyone here hasn't grown old and died, that time has a much different affect on humans where I'm from."

"Ah, yes, I know that's very well," said the rabbit, lowering his ears a bit.

"Humans cannot live 135 years, McTwisp. Not where I'm from, anyway. So," said Alice curiously, narrowing her eyes, "What makes you think I can _possibly _be the same Alice you brought here the first time?"

The white rabbit was now a quivering ball of anxiety. Alice felt bad, so she reach out and gently petted the rabbit on the head until he was calm enough to speak. "I-I-I'm afraid that's the rather confusing part of it all. The White Queen –" Suddenly, McTwisp stopped shaking. He pulled out and looked at his pocket-watch, then yelped.

"Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear – we're terribly late!" Slamming the watch shut, he began to scurry away, pulling urgently on Alice's skirt after she had gotten on her feet.

"But McTwisp, I thought time didn't exist in Underland?' asked Alice as she struggled to keep up with the rabbit and not trip over him at the same time.

"My dear girl, what you do think _I'm_ for?" yipped the rabbit. "Come, come, we've got a very important meeting with the White Queen!"

The two of them, along with the Bandersnatch, made it back to the White Castle in a short amount of time. Both the white rabbit and the Bandersnatch (who seemed awfully upset to see Alice go) left Alice at the main entrance of the Castle, where McTwisp instructed Alice to make her way to the throne room. Two guards escorted her, eventually reaching the room where the White Queen sat on her enormous marble throne. Seeing Alice walk through the door, she smiled her ever-happy smile.

"Very good," said Mirana, standing from her throne and motioning Alice to come forward. "I think we may have sorted out this whole the Alice or non-Alice mess."

Alice's spirit rose at those words. She had been hoping the Queen would be providing her a way home at this meeting, but an explanation for why she was here was the next best thing. "How?"

"It's the potion I made, remember? The Hidderlop Potion is an ancient and powerful thing, able to see into the spirit and heart of anyone who's willing to give a bit of themselves to it." The queen chuckled. "Thus, the Griffon's eye was a vital part of the potion. Understand? _See_ing?" But Alice could find nothing funny about that gruesome memory of the eye and the potion. Thinking about it made her feel a little sick. _Well, at least I didn't have to drink it,_ thought Alice with a grimace.

"I'm happy to say that my theory had been proven correct!" Mirana said whilst clasping her hands together in childish glee. "You see, no one really knew why you've come back, and as a different Alice, of all things; I mean, the Oraculum has yet to completely tell us why you've come, but-"

"Your Majesty, if you please," Alice cut her off. "What did the potion tell you?"

The Queen's smile dimmed a little. "Well, it's a bit complicated. You see, you_ are _Alice – the Champion who saved us and slayed the Jabberwocky – but at the same time, you're not-Alice. Not the same Alice as before."

"What exactly are you saying, your Majesty?" asked Alice with confusion on her face and in voice.

"Exactly what I just said: the old-Alice is gone, but you are our new-Alice, come back with some of the old-Alice in you."

After a moment, Alice's face darkened, finally understanding Mirana's words. "Your Highness," she said tightly, "I do not believe in reincarnation. Nor do I believe in ghosts. And I certainly do not believe _I_ am any of those things."

"It's neither of those things, my child," said the queen gingerly, probably noticing how much the prospect distressed the young woman. "You see, the Alice who came here the first time did indeed pass on after death. But a part of her refused to move on with the rest of her – the Underland part of her. Because she knew that she had to come back to Underland one day, and she couldn't do that if she was dead, now could she? And so, a new-Alice was born, and the old-Underland-Alice was reborn with her."

Alice was shocked into silence for a good couple of seconds. When she spoke again, her voice now trembling, she asked, "So…so there are two people living inside of me?"

"Oh no, not at all!" said Mirana, taken aback. "You are a one-and-the-same Alice. Old-Alice has always been a part of new-Alice. The old-Alice just has yet to be unlocked. That's why you cannot remember anything."

"I'm very sorry your Highness," said Alice, trying her best to look diplomatic and not as shaken by the news as she really was, "But that just sounds really far-fetched."

The White Queen frowned in confusion. "'Far-fetched?'"

"_Impossible._"

The queen smiled again. "Oh, my dear child. Nothing is impossible. Things are only impossible if people believe they are. Anything is possible if we believe."

"Oh, that's it then?" snapped Alice, more rudely then she had intended. "Faith, trust and pixie dust, and all that crap?"

"Alice, whatever are you talking about?"

She took a deep breath. "Okay…let's say I believe this old-Alice and new-Alice business. Why would old-Alice, as you call her, need to stay alive? Didn't she do her business with the Jabber-whatever and save Underland already?"

"That is what we have yet to find out. But it's more than a _why_, I suspect. It's a _who_." For the first time, Alice could see a hint of sadness in Mirana's eyes. "A who that you promised to return to, and never did."

For some reason that stopped Alice's anger in its tracks. She remembered hearing the people (and animals) speaking about someone she had supposedly "abandoned" last night. She had no idea who they were talking about, and still didn't know, but her heart felt heavy at the thought anyway. But how could she help it if she didn't know who she left behind?

"How am I supposed to remember?" asked Alice in a more subdued voice. "How do I unlock the old-Alice, like you said?"

The White Queen frowned, and for the first time Alice had seen since arriving, dropped her statuesque arms and crossed them over her chest.

"I was hoping you would get here and the rest would sort itself out."

_So like a monarch,_ Alice couldn't help but think sardonically.

"I suspect that you need to reacquaint yourself with this world. Has nothing struck you as oddly familiar since you came here?" asked Mirana thoughtfully.

Surprisingly, she had. Alice didn't think it important before, but now that Mirana mentioned it, it started to make a little sense. "Yes, but only very faint familiarities. Never a sharp image to accompany it, or an exact memory of me anywhere he-."

A small and nervous cough interrupted her. McTwisp was peeking his tiny white head through the door. "U-um, F-forgive me your M-Majesty…"

The White Queen motioned for the white rabbit to come in. He hopped across the white room to the throne, and Alice noticed that he was shaking even harder then she had seen the frantic march hare quivering the night before.

"Oh my," said the queen with concern. "What is it Nivens?"

"D-don't let me f-fool you, it's nothing urgent," stuttered McTwisp, his ears lowered, toying with the pocket-watch in his paws, rolling it back and forth repeatedly, not looking into the White Queen's eyes. _Poor McTwisp_, thought Alice sympathetically, _He really does get overly-anxious about everything_.

But Mirana obviously saw something more serious in the rabbit's twitching. She was no longer smiling, and her entire body no longer floated like a feather; her arms dropped to her sides, some invisible force weighing her down. "McTwisp," Mirana said in the most serious tone Alice had ever heard the queen use, "What's wrong?"

"It's just…" the rabbit stopped playing with his watch and stared into Alice's eyes. There was something he was trying to say in that look, something important - but Alice couldn't comprehend it. He then turned his full attention back to the White Queen to tell the news.

"Hatter has returned."


	5. Chapter 4: A Song Of Forgetting

**A/N: I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter up. Between exams and traveling and more exams, I have been one busy girl. Hopefully the next chapter won't take forever and a day to write.**

**Again, thanks to all who have reviewed so far! They really are amazing motivators. **

**Please review and enjoy this next chapter (finally)!**

"Hatter has returned."

Mirana's eyes turned dark at McTwisp's fretful words. Alice felt her stomach lurch a bit at the sight of the White Queen's stone face and cold eyes - such a drastic contrast to the chipper and carefree woman who stood in front of Alice just a few moments before. She no longer carried a bright and airy manner- worry and concern now veiled her usually bright eyes, like a dark cloud that descends to hide the radiant sun from view.

Alice instantly felt nervous to see such a dramatic reaction from the queen. As odd as she was, Mirana had that strange ability to make Alice feel calm with her kind and reassuring smile. With that smile now gone, Alice felt somewhat unprotected. What could have been disturbing enough to rattle the peaceful and nonchalant White Queen?

"McTwisp, please escort Alice to her room," said Mirana, her tone now all seriousness. "I will speak with the Hatter in the meantime. Please send him in after Alice is…alone."

For once, Alice didn't press for information. One look at the queen's face was enough to dissuade her. She hadn't known what to make of this seemingly fancy-free monarch until she saw that dark and misty look in her eye. As kind as Mirana was to her, Alice could easily tell that she wasn't someone you'd want for an enemy.

The white rabbit nodded to the queen (which looked more like a giant twitch due to his shaking), and led Alice through one of the throne room's side doors. He hopped up the marble staircase at twice the speed of Alice, even at her brisk pace. McTwisp then escorted Alice down the hallway and back to her expansive marble room. Whoever had been preparing her room since she came obviously hadn't been expecting her to return just yet. The fire now burned orange and red, and no comforting smell wavered from its flames this time. It was painfully ordinary – unemotional, unfeeling, just like any fireplace back home. To have some magical relaxing aroma in the room would have been a comfort to her troubled mind. For the first time since being in Underland, Alice yearned for something magical and impossible, rather than just ordinary and normal.

"McTwisp," said Alice, turning to face the white rabbit as he hopped towards the door. "Is the Hatter…is he someone I should be afraid of?"

McTwisp's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh no! Not at all. He is honorable and loyal, and a great friend. He's just…ah…" His ears lowered as he struggled to find the appropriate words. "He's just very…sensitive."

Alice's heart gave a tiny twist at his words. "Is it about me?" she whispered, quickly putting together the pieces from what she overheard last night. "Is he upset …about me?"

McTwisp must have seen the worry in her eyes, for he quickly stood tall and puffed out his chest, giving him a look of authority. "It's nothing you need concern yourself about, dear," said the rabbit with more confidence, patting Alice's foot comfortingly (he would have patted her hand if he were the appropriate height, of course). "Just…stay here until I fetch you." McTwisp gave the woman a smile, but as hard as he tried to put on a brave face, anxiety still lingered in the rabbit's blue eyes.

Alice made her way to the balcony once again, feeling overwhelmed without a familiar face by her side. She often felt like this back at home as well. When the world wanted too much from her and gave her too many reminders, she would lock herself in her apartment with only Dinah, her closest and dearest friend. She didn't have anyone to run to or cling on to after her father died – no one human, anyway. But she had always had Dinah, and that had always been enough.

But now she had absolutely nobody. Mirana was busy, McTwisp had run off, and the Bandersnatch was probably back in the stables. Although she hadn't known them for long, Alice felt like she had known them long enough to miss them when they were gone – or at least, miss the security she felt when she was around them.

Alice sighed. She didn't even have her wonderful cat to comfort her now.

She didn't want to think about the Hatter. She tried to think about everything else _but _him as she sat out on the balcony: the way the sky changed colors, the hoards of unusual animals in the fields below. But her mind (thanks to her damned curiosity) always wandered back to this mysterious and ambiguous Hatter.

Who was he? Was he important to the old-Alice? If so, why was he important? Such questions swirled through her mind, confusion mixing with a dark shade of guilt. She knew she shouldn't feel guilty – it wasn't her fault she couldn't remember anything, was it? But the dormouse's words still echoed in Alice's ears from the night before.

_"It'll damn near break his heart! A heart __she__ didn't deserve to have in the first place, the way she went off an abandoned him."_

"But I _didn't_ abandon him," Alice muttered to the dormouse in her mind, "I don't even _know_ him."

But she didn't want to break his heart. She didn't want to hurt anybody – she never liked seeing anybody upset or in pain, even total strangers. And the fact that this man's pain was apparently _her_ responsibility only made that pesty feeling of guilt grow stronger.

_But it's not my fault!_ She wanted to scream to her conscience, the imaginary dormouse, and to the whole of Underland. _Why do you insist that it is?_

"A-Alice?"

Alice turned sharply in her seat as a quiet voice interrupted her screaming thoughts. Her eyes widened, and she stood up to meet the man who was standing by the balcony door.

"…Hatter?"

He was really quite a sight to see. His clothing was bright and multi-colored, with a large, satin-wrapped hat atop his mess of electric-orange hair. His face was paler then anyone Alice had ever seen, with sunken red cheeks and bags under his eyes. But the first thing she noticed was his eyes. They were as round and expressive as Dinah's in shape, but much more dramatic in color - the brightest color of green immaginable. His eyes literally glowed like a fluorescent light as they connected with Alice's.

His red lips turned upwards into a smile at the sound of his name. "So you do remember!" he said, his voice now chipper and friendly. "Mirana got me all worried and worked up, spewing some nonsense about old-Alice and the Oraculum – not that Mirana isn't very wise, of course, but even queens make mistakes – but I knew that you would come back, and that you are the one and only Alice, and that –"

"Hatter," said Alice gently, cutting him off in his happy rambling. The Hatter instantly stopped and shook his head.

"Sorry," he muttered,"I'm fine." But a smile quickly lit up his face again as he made is way over to Alice and gently picked up her hand and held it in his own. It was then she noticed how calloused and red the Hatter's hands were, wrapped in bandages and old-colored fabrics. She wondered how he could've gotten his hands in such a terrible state.

"All that matters is, your back," said Hatter happily, "And even though it's been a while, I'm sure Time would be kind enough to slow down for us, if only for a bit –"

"I'm sorry," said Alice finally. She looked down and concentrated hard on the patterns of the marble floor as she spoke, unable to look into this man's eager eyes. "I'm not your Alice."

She could felt her hand slipping from his. She looked up to see the Hatter's eyebrows creased in confusion, his hands hanging limply by his side. "Wh...b-but of course you're_ the _Alice," said the Hatter, the cheerfulness in his voice now sounding forced and false as he attempted to smile again. "I knew you the last time, and I know you now. I'd know you anywhere."

"Maybe I am. Mirana was saying something about how the Alice _you_ knew is a part of me. But I'm afraid I…I just don't remember anything about this place." She gave the Hatter an apologizing glance. "Including you."

Suddenly, the Hatter's eyes turned dark. Literally. Instead of lime green, his eyes faded to shadowy and penetrating amber. Alice was taken aback by both the shade of his eyes, and the dangerous glint that she could see within them, where joviality had been only a minute before.

"But yae promised," whispered the Hatter in a drastically low voice. The words that came out of his mouth were slathered in a Scottish-sounding brogue that he had not been speaking when he first came in.

Alice could feel her heart speed up at these changes in the man. Who had seemed odd but harmless to her at first was now beginning to look threatening. His dark eyes and deep voice unnerved her. She took a cautious step back away from him.

"I'm s-sorry," repeated Alice, her voice stuttering a bit in her worry. "But I just can't remember."

She didn't like the way he was looking at her. McTwisp had told Alice that Hatter was nothing to be afraid of, but the flames that exuded from his amber eyes were telling her otherwise. She took another step backwards, but he came forward, his eyes narrow and piercing in their gaze.

"Yae promised mae yae wouldn' forget," said the Hatter, louder this time, with unmerciful seething fire burning in his eyes.

He was no more than a couple of inches away from her, and Alice now desperately wanted to get away. Her heart was pounding faster than a drum as she pressed herself against the balcony's edge with nowhere left to go.

Cornered and trapped by this man's eyes that burned with rage, Alice was absolutely terrified.

He grabbed her wrist, and she screamed.

"Don't _touch _me, you _madman_!"

His smoldering eyes instantly deflated. In a blink, they had turned a murky dark blue. His face was no longer threatening, but long and heavy with the weight of shock and sorrow. Her heart froze for a split second as she looked upon that face. Then he limply let go of Alice's wrist, and she ran.

She threw shut the balcony doors behind her as she ran into her room and threw herself onto her bed. And she cried. She hadn't cried in a very long time, and she usually hated doing it, but all she wanted to do now was feel those wet tears roll down her cheeks. Too much was happening in too short a time. The world was spinning out of control and she couldn't stop it – just like it had after her father died.

She didn't understand exactly why she was crying at first. Was she so afraid of that man? Did she desperately want to go back home? No, those were only part of the reasons. Inside she knew she was crying because of herself. Her selfish, cruel, unrelenting self. Because Alice knew that she had done just what everyone had feared she would – and because of that, she knew that she had hurt them all.

Alice didn't know how much time had passed once she finally stopped crying and forced herself to think straight. The door to the balcony closed (and the Hatter probably still outside), she couldn't figure out what time of day it was. _Not that it matters_, she thought, _Since time doesn't exist here, apparently._ Rubbing her eyes, she sat on the edge of her bed, and thought about how she should go about and set everything in this messed-up story straight.

But why should she? One part of her brain commented bitterly. It wasn't her responsibility to remember a life she never lived.

_But then why do I _feel_ like it should be?_ She asked herself. _Nothing makes sense here. Everyone expects me to be someone I'm not, to remember things that never happened to me._ She sighed dejectedly. _I just want to go home._

But Alice didn't wallow in her unhappiness for long. A small but powerful voice quickly interrupted her.

"I _knew_ that you would do it! No one would listen to me, but I _knew_ you couldn't be trusted!"

The dormouse from the night before stood in the doorway, which Alice guessed must've been kept open after the Hatter walked through to get to her balcony. She didn't notice it before, but the fact that the entire castle probably heard her sobbing like a little girl made her cheeks turn red. But she could only feel embarrassed for a moment, for the dormouse demanded Alice's full attention: her small squeaky voice was filled with enough fury to fill the entire room.

The pin that the dormouse used for a sword was out and pointed straight towards Alice, her beady eyes holding more rage then the Hatter's eyes had, even without the ability to change color. "How could you treat the Hatter that way? You _slurvish,_ no-good, galumping –"

"For God's sake, why can't anyone see that it's _not my fault?_" shouted Alice, her temper and emotions worn too thin, with the same demands being forced upon her person after creature. She stood up and childishly stomped her foot. "I don't need you scurrying in here to blame me for something I can't control!"

"Do you know what you did to him?" spitted the dormouse, not backing down from Alice's superior size. "You've cut him dead, you wretch!"

Alice felt her heart drop to her stomach. "He's…he didn't…did he?" she whispered, all malice and anger evaporated in her mind.

"At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if he did, the way you sliced his heart in two." Alice winced, knowing that the dormouse's own prophecy for her had come true.

_"It'll damn near break his heart!"…_

"He's been waiting for so long," said the dormouse, a hint of sadness now invading the anger in her words. "He's made at least ten hats a day to keep himself from going completely bonkers. But as time passed, it only got worse. His grief caused the madness to get too hard to control. After nearly destroying the royal millinery, Mirana thought it best for him to get away for a while…to get away from all the reminders before he completely lost his head."

_The reminders…_Alice knew exactly what the dormouse meant. She felt like she was going insane back in London because of all of the reminders of _him_. The world was relentless in its torture, never giving her the peace of mind she longed for and letting her forget her grief for a while. Always, always another damned _reminder_.

Yes, she knew what the dormouse meant. And her heart fell even lower at the thought - that the Hatter had been suffering the same horrible fate because of _her_.

"And then you finally return," continued the dormouse, her voice regaining its former fury, "And you go on and scream and insult him, like he was some kind of…some kind of monster!" She was screaming now, waving her pin back and forth threateningly. "He never would have suffered if it weren't for you! After all he's been through to keep you safe – I can't believe you'd have the nerve, the audacity, the…_cruelty_ to do such a thing!"

The dormouse narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing Alice like she was some malformed beast. "You're nothing but a cowardly, useless, back-biting snake. You've been nothing but poison to all of us since you've left and come back. You'll kill us all with your venom…you've already kill the Hatter."

That was it. Without a second thought, Alice grabbed the dormouse by the waist and threw her out the door, slamming it behind her in a rage. She had never been unnecessarily violent before in her life, but the dormouse had just driven her to the edge. Her insults only furthered her unquenchable feelings of guilt and shame, and she couldn't stand it anymore.

Her body shook as she leaned against the closed door. She instantly felt guilty about her brash action, with only made her feel worse and more beset. She slid to the floor and put her head on her knees. She had always been sensitive to the extreme as a girl, about herself as well as others. She would often fret about insulting someone she really liked, or even letting a single bad thought cross her mind about a total stranger. Though she tried and usually succeeded to keep a hardened and more stable exterior as an adult, her sensitivity would still often leave her restless. She couldn't stand the thought of someone suffering at her expense – even if she knew that it would hurt her to heal _them_.

She stood up, smoothed her dress, and took a deep breath. Alice never really liked conflict, and she definitely didn't like hurting. But she knew what she had to do.

It was nightfall. Alice could see that when she opened the balcony door, the remaining light of day framing the Hatter as he looked over the balcony. The shadows of the coming night were overtaking his figure with every second. Like a sandcastle deteriorating with every wave, the Hatter seemed to be disappearing with the fading light.

Alice felt like she was tip-toeing, the way she slowly and silently made her way to the Hatter's side. If he knew that she was coming, he didn't show it. He stood as still as a statue, his eyes not breaking from the focal point of the setting sun. Now standing beside him, she could see that his eyes were still a murky dark blue, the shock gone from his face, but the sorrow lingering still.

She didn't know what to say. She hoped that he would turn around and face her, be the first one to speak. But as seconds passed in silence, Alice knew that wouldn't be the case. So she closed her eyes for a moment, letting the wind soothe her nerves (which had been rankled much too frequently these past few days), and opened them again.

"I'm sorry," she said, speaking in barely more than a whisper. "I'm sorry I hurt you. You just…" She didn't want to say _scared_, which would probably insult the man even more. "You just startled me, that's all."

Finally acknowledging Alice's presence, he sighed and turned his head to look into her eyes. She instantly wished he hadn't. Those dark blue eyes pierced right through her body and soul, filling every inch of her heart with sorrow and regret for what she had done.

"I wouldn't have hurt you," he whispered back, obviously sensing what Alice had meant to say instead of 'startled'. "I'd never hurt you. I'd die before…"

His words broke and faded into the abyss of the night, leaving Alice alone to deal with their lingering meaning. Seeing this broken man now, she couldn't believe that she had been afraid of him. She didn't understand what had happened before, but now she somehow knew that he wouldn't have hurt her, even in his rage. Something in his voice had told her so. Or maybe something in his eyes…

"And I'm sorry," continued Alice softly, putting a hand between her neck and her chest (as she often inexplicably did when she was nervous or just needed to calm down), "For calling you…a madman. I really am."

His eyes changed hue again at her words, turning a more alert, but just as melancholy, deep emerald. He said nothing for a moment. Then –

"You're not my Alice," he said, not accusingly, but with gloom nevertheless. "_My_ Alice never would have called me that as an insult. She understood madness. She understood me." He smiled weakly, as if remembering a fond but long-passed memory. "And she wouldn't have apologized for it, either."

Alice didn't know what to say. She was tired of protesting and defending who she was and who she wasn't. She couldn't pretend to be who he wanted her to be – who he_ needed_ her to be – all she could be was herself.

"Listen," she said, "I maybe can't be your Alice. Maybe I can. But I need help remembering. I need _your_ help." She ran her hand through her short blond hair, another thing she did to calm herself. She never knew why doing such things calmed her down so much. But just then, Alice considered the possibility that all she really needed was the reassurance that she could still feel - that she was alive.

"I'm lost. I'm confused. And I'm as lonely as you are." Hatter seemed to perk his attention at those last words, before looking down and muttering something to himself that was barely comprehendible.

_"You know nothing of loneliness."_

"Please," Alice said, desperation now evident in her plea, "Can we just start over?"

Hatter said nothing for a moment. Those seconds felt like lifetimes to Alice – and they probably did to him as well. Then he shook his head, and told her in a defeated voice –

"I'm always starting over with you, Alice. No matter how hard I try, nothing ever stays."


	6. Chapter 5: We're All Mad Here

**A/N: Right now, my life is getting really hectic – I'm graduating and moving all at once, so please forgive my delay, as well as any in the future. But the fact that I'm still writing this thing is a good sign that I'll finish it!**

**This chapter wasn't planned, but I felt it rather nessisary once I thought about it. Plus, it gives Chess a cameo. My Chess was greatly inspired by the 1950's Chesire cat – as much as I liked the 2010 Chessur, I felt that he wasn't nearly michevious enough. But don't worry – Chessur will always be Chessur!**

**Thank you for all your reviews so far! I really do apprieciate them. I hope you enjoy this installment, and tell me what you think!**

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Things did not get better for Alice the next day as she hoped it would. As someone who moved so many times in her life, she usually had little problem getting comfortable with her new surroundings. It was the people she always had more trouble with. And it seemed in Underland, circumstances were much the same.

Alice sat at the top of a grassy hill that late afternoon, more than happy to be away from the White Castle. She felt like she wasn't wanted there, with so many people upset with her and others never sticking around to chat: McTwisp always had some "important date" to keep, Mirana was working with royal business, and Mally (the dormouse's name, as she had learned from McTwisp when he apologized profusely on her behalf that morning for Mally's behavior) was all but ready to stab the girl if she came within a ten-root radius. She hadn't run into the Hatter since the previous evening, and she had no desire to. She had a feeling that any interaction between the two of them at the moment without not bode well to ease the tensions that had boiled up the previous night.

The only one she could find comfort in was the Bandersnatch. He was asleep on the grass next to her, his massive head resting on her lap. She was no longer afraid of the creature; as fearsome as he appeared, he was no less then loving to Alice. He wanted nothing more than to be by her side. Occasionally, when a white solider would pass them by on the field, he would let out an intimidating, protective growl before the intruders scurried away.

He never growled at Alice. Since reuniting with her, all he did was nudge her playfully and affectionately rub its head against her arm, urging Alice to pet him. He would lovingly licked her face every once in a while, and although she never cared to be covered in slobber before (she wasn't much of a dog person), she would only laugh then rub him behind the ears as he so desired. She missed having someone she didn't have to worry about insulting or looking stupid in front of, someone who she could tell anything to, someone who just loved her unconditionally. Well…perhaps not unconditionally, in the Bandersnatch's case. The condition was just one she couldn't remember yet. But regardless, though the Bandersnatch was no Dinah, she was happy to have him in her company.

"This might just be my opinion, but isn't sitting alone with a Bandersnatch away from the populous a rather unconventional way of making friends?"

Alice gasped at the sound of smooth and silky voice that came from nowhere. In a few seconds, however, a sly and toothy grin manifested itself in front of her, along with two round, emerald eyes.

It was the evaporating Cheshire cat. Luckily, this time when he appeared, Alice didn't scream. But she still wasn't happy with the way he made himself known. And she also wasn't happy to have her peace interrupted and invaded by some strange cat's taunting.

"I thought you said we were 'dear friends' to begin with," said Alice tartly, "So I can't see why I should be down there making more."

"Contrary-wise, my dear, I can't recall ever meeting you before in my life," said the cat in the suspiciously chipper tone. Whether Alice's sarcasm was lost on him – or his sarcasm lost on her – was already a mystery. Such confusion only proved to make her more frustrated.

"Alright then," she said, sticking out her hand. "I'm Alice Kingsley."

"Chessur," replied the cat who, much to Alice's surprise, actually took her outstretched hand into his paw, which had suddenly appeared along with the rest of his body. "Call me Chess. Now," continued the cat, beginning to rotate in mid-air. "What brings you to Underland?"

Alice snorted. "That's a wonderful question."

"Really? From the way you said it, it sounds like a terrible question. Which is terribly insulting to the question in question," he said, as he evaporated and re-appeared on Alice's left, his grin even wider than before. "And if the question is upset, how can we hope to receive an answer from it, my dear girl?"

Obviously, using sarcasm with this cat wasn't a smart idea. "I don't know why I'm here," she said bluntly, hoping the cat would take the hint and evaporate somewhere else – somewhere far, far away. The Bandersnatch must've shared her sentiments, for he had been growling at the cat since he first appeared. Chessur, on the other hand, seemed to care less about the beast.

"It's not a question of _knowing_, it's a question of _being_," Chess said, his head now levitating on its own in mid air, which was distracting enough without his words being so riddling. "What are you doing _being_ here, _exactly_?"

"I'm. Here. Because. I'm. _Here_," said Alice, enunciating each word until they were as sharp as the tips of daggers. She normally wouldn't speak so sharply to a stranger, but the cat was already getting on her last nerve. But she also had a feeling that Chess was enjoying riling her up and getting under her skin – and that she hadn't been the first victim of his talent to annoy.

"I am because I am, and I am because I do…" Chess muttered to himself quizzically, in complete disregard to her frustration. With an irritated sigh, Alice was finding out that no matter what she said or how she said it, that cat couldn't be discouraged from his pestering – his sickening grin would just grow larger.

"Why do you keep talking like that?" asked Alice, unsure if she could tolerate his antics for much longer.

"Why do _you _sit here on a hilltop all alone, with nothing but a fearsome Bandersnatch for company?" he rebutted slyly while managing to balance his head on his upside-down body. "Could it be that, perhaps, you would rather besomewhere else –" his toothy grin turned dark and mischievous – "yet you're afraid of being with some_one_ else?"

He had hit the nail on the head. Although that cat was bothersome beyond belief, he definitely wasn't stupid. Unfortunately, Alice found that to be the case with most people in society. It didn't make dealing with them any easier – as was the case with this curious cat.

"Well, perhaps I haven't been overly-eager to meet with him, it's true," said Alice with some uncertainty, "But I haven't been avoiding him. I just haven't seen him. I don't know where to find him."

"He's at the royal millinery, the third doorway in the fifth hall on the second floor," said Chess while examining his claws. His body then slowly began to disappear, like mist on the murky sea, leaving only his head behind with that haunting grin plastered upon it. His round eyes widened with mischief, his crooked teeth skewed at an impossible angle, and he laughed.

"What are you waiting for?"

And then he finally disappeared for good.

* * *

She found the Hatter exactly where Chess has told her he would be.

As soon as she opened the door, she was hit with an explosion of color. In Mirana's white, monotone castle, to enter a place like this was quite a shock to Alice. Patterns and shades decorated every inch of the wall, almost hiding the Hatter's own colorful attire within the midst of it all. His hat was barely recognizable amongst the hundreds that stood beside him and on the wall behind him.

She hesitated by the door at first, but was quickly lured in by the intriguing shapes and details that were scattered all around her. Maybe it was just because she had been in this castle of white for two days, but she couldn't imagine such vibrant colors existing even in her own world. It was as if the Hatter had created these colors himself.

But awe was quickly swallowed by worry when she finally approached the Hatter, who was so hard at work he didn't even look up when she came in. At that moment, he was working with an old-fashioned sewing machine, while repeatingly dunking some fabric into an orange liquid. His hands worked nimbly and precisely, never even having to look up to grab an instrument or fabric beside him. It was not hard to tell that he was a master at his trade.

She wasn't sure how to speak to him. Wouldn't he be unhappy to be distracted while he worked? Would he lash out at her again in that Scottish brogue? His head was buried so deeply into the fabric in front of him, she couldn't see what color his eyes were. Would they turn green at her presence, or amber? Or even maybe that heartbreaking shade of murky blue? Alice really hoped it wouldn't. She came here to make amends, not make him feel worse.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She closed it again, and turned to face the array of hats that were standing on stilts from the wall. She started to reach for one, but quickly pulled her hand back. But she did smile at them.

"These are lovely."

His head jerked upwards with surprise. He looked confused for a moment, his eyes a strange shade of violet and orange, but then turned to a darker shade of his usual green as he finally recognized her.

"Thank ye," he muttered, turning his head downwards again to work, but she could see him watching her from the corner of his eye. There was no particular malice or distaste in his stare. Just…interest.

"Can I try one on?" she asked. Still not looking up, the Hatter nodded. She picked one up and sat it atop her head, and looked in the mirror. It was purple, with ribbons of red and blue exuding from its unbelievably high top. Alice giggled a bit. She looked ridiculous with it on, but she could tell that it was marvelously made. Even costumes didn't have this much detail and care put into them.

"That one doesn't suit you at all!" burst out the Hatter suddenly, as if he was trying his best to keep the comment from escaping. When she turned around, Alice saw him muttering to himself fiercely in some language she couldn't understand. His cheeks turned red when he noticed that she was looking at him.

"Be grateful you don't know Outlandish," he explained bashfully.

Is that what his brogue was, then? She started to blush herself, and she took off the hat and put it back on the pedicel. "I'm sorry."

"Nae, it's not ye, luv," he said quickly, his voice wobbling with a weaker version of his brogue. "It's me. Ah…get easily mad at meself, I'm afraid. An' the Outlandish loves tae come out when Ah'm upset-"

"Hatter?" she interrupted nervously.

"– as you can see" he finished, shaking off the brogue at the end of his ramble. Alice wasn't given time to ponder on this, for a second later the Hatter, as if unable to contain himself, snatched another hat from beside him and stood to place it on Alice's head. In a blink of an eye, he was at his work desk again.

"That one is better for your shape and size," he explained while still not looking up, obviously trying to keep up his façade of hard work as he talked to her.

A wide smile broke out on Alice's face as she looked at herself in the mirror. This one was silver, much smaller, and bejeweled with blue stones and glittering ribbons. There was nothing tacky about it, but it held more personality in one of its stitches than a whole hat back home did.

"You're absolutely right," said Alice, doing a little spin in her dress. He could almost make out a hint of a smile on the Hatter's red lips as she turned around gaily.

"Did you make all of these hats yourself?" she asked, carefully putting the beautiful hat on a nearby shelf. There were dozens of shelves aligning the walls, and the room must have been as big as a lecture hall in her university. Her brain hurt at the very thought of trying to mathematically figure out how many hats were in here.

"Yes," he said while he rolled out an opaque shade of fabric. His eyes slightly drifted in her direction, and he added shyly, "I also made that dress, as well as the one you wore yesterday."

Alice literally gasped out loud. If the rows and rows of individual hats wasn't enough of a wonder, the fact that the dress that made her look like a princess was made by this man nearly knocked her off her feet. She was wearing another wonderful dress today; bathed in dark blue, it was more modern then her previous dress, and shorter, but its silver sleeves and sparkling satin gave it touches of history that made her feel like lost royalty. She was ready to ask for her jeans to wear again that morning, but then she had the same problem she had with her previous dress – once she tried it on, she just couldn't take it off.

"What spells do you put on these dresses?" she asked with a light laugh, "Because I think they're too captivating for their own good."

Finally, something close to a smile showed at Alice's tease. "I'm glad you like them. I made you quite a number of dresses while I was waiting for you to come back –"

He stopped. His eyes turned a bluish green, remembering. And his smile was gone.

Alice bit her lip, her own cheer dismantled by the damage those dark eyes could do. She waited in the silence, unsure of what to say.

"What's your name?" she then asked softly, stepping closer to him.

He was quiet for a moment, with no physical reaction whatsoever, but she could tell by the furrow of his giant brows that some battle was being waged within his own mind. "Everyone calls me Hatter," he said finally. Alice knew he didn't really answer the question, but decided not to press it. She was the one who had broken his heart after all, even if she hadn't meant to.

He chuckled darkly, masochistically. "Most call me the Mad Hatter."

And now they had come to it. That 'madman' insult obviously still stung from the previous evening. She still felt terrible about it, but she couldn't apologize for it and magically make his hurt go away. But then, Alice had an idea - and she decided to take a different route altogether.

"I'm mad too, you know," she said matter-of-factly, brushing her figures against the feathers on a green hat nearby. She focused on those feathers very hard, letting her words sink in, and didn't look at the Hatter until he decided to speak.

"You, _mad_?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Well, mad is a relative term," she admitted, "The more common use nowadays is 'mental illness'. Which sounds worse than 'mad' if you ask me."

He didn't chuckle at her comment as she hoped he would. His green eyes were completely fixed on her in puzzlement. "But, why?..."

"Well," she started, turning around to carefully learn against the shelf. "In my world, we actually study the human mind. It's called psychology. In the past two-hundred years or so, tons of different theories and names for madness have sprung up. It's rather…well, insane how many 'mental diseases a person can have."

"_You _have a mental disease?" he asked doubtfully.

"I was diagnosed with OCD when I was ten. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Except in my case, I don't have any compulsions. My obsessions are all in what I think, not what I do. Which makes it harder to treat, I've learned."

"Obsessive about what – if you don't mind me asking," he asked, embarrassed by his forwardness, at least for a man who's mannerisms (somewhat) belonged in the Victorian era. Most of the creatures and people here behaved in the same twisted-Victorian style - almost old-fashioned, but very topsy-turvy. For example, Alice doubted that milliners made hats like these in the 19th century.

"Bad thoughts, really. Fear that maybe I'll do something incredibly inappropriate, like insult a stranger for no good reason in public – or hurt someone I love. Of course, the fact that I fear these thoughts mean that I'll probably never do them, as such is the case with most people who have OCD. And my bad thoughts have gotten much better over the years as well. But they still come back to haunt me every once in a while." She looked into his eyes. "I think that maybe you know the feeling?"

He didn't respond. Instead, he turned his head and stared at the wall. And Alice wondered why she was telling him these things. She hated talking about her OCD with strangers. She only knew this man for a few minutes so far, at most! But, unlike with most strangers, she didn't fear for him to misjudge her about her mental illness. Probably because he knew that feeling as well. Too well.

"It was also theorized that I might have aspbergers, since my ability to read social cues at the young age were nil," she continued with a snort. "But the fact that I became fluent in sarcasm as I got older disproved it."

She wrapped her arms around herself, a wry grin on her face. "And a few years ago, I was also diagnosed with depression. But I assume that happens to most people who lose their fathers."

Hatter looked at her. His eye color was surprisingly neutral. She couldn't detect what sort of emotion was hiding behind them. Was he thinking sardonically of her excuses for madness? Was he pitying her? Or did he not judge her at all – because he has lost a loved one himself?

"My point is," she said, her voice now softer with understanding, "Everyone is mad in their own way. Most people probably don't know they're mad, or try to hide it. But they all are. And anyone who tries to deny it is delusional or a fool. At least, that's my opinion."

It could've just been her imagination, but Alice thought she saw his eyes turn a slightly brighter shade of green. "If that's true," he said, his voice now a bit more jovial, "Then what sort of madness would you diagnose me with?"

That was a good question. Scientifically, he seemed to be suffering from many sorts of madness. But the most glaring suspicion was the liquid that he was soaking his fabrics in. The orange substance was easily recognizable by the former university student – mercury. She had studied the effects of mercury poisoning in chemistry class, and the Hatter seemed to fit many of the symptoms: red cheeks, swollen figures, and extreme mood swings.

But Alice didn't want to say that. Because she knew his madness extended further then to just a medical condition – it was a part of his personality. It was the kind of madness her father had, and the kind of madness she wished she had herself.

"You have a very special kind of madness that's…not easy to define," she said, sitting down on a stool beside him. "You see, every kind of madness has the ability to destroy, from murder to their own minds. They don't have to be completely destructive; most mental illnesses are like my OCD, which create little dents in our self-image and thought process. Almost all people fear this power madness has over them, and they try to destroy it in return. "

"But," continued Alice, noticing how the Hatter's expression fell at her words, "There's also a special kind of madness. Only a rare few people have it in my world. It's the madness that doesn't only destroy – it creates. And the people who have it never try to get rid of it. They embrace it. They enjoy it. Although it can throw them in for a bumpy ride every once in a while, they never really suffer from it in the end. Because the price of madness doesn't compare to the reward of creation."

"Y-y-you," he stuttered in surprise, "Think I'm _that_ sort of mad?"

"I know it," she said with a smile. She stretched out her arms and gestured all around her. "Because all of this was created by you. Because you create beauty. It's as simple as that."

Even his bowtie was perking up now. He opened his mouth, but no incoherent words came out. Just laughter. Alice felt a weight slide off her shoulders at the sound. Both of their spirits were higher in the sky then they thought possible just the night before.

"Listen," she said, turning towards him, deciding to take this chance while she could. "I want to meet with you again. I think that you'll be able to help me with…with my memory. I promise I won't be as awful this time around."

The Hatter's face lost some of its glee, but his eyes were still florescent green. At least the thought of seeing her as not-Alice didn't drag him into a pit of depression and fury now.

"I have to work," he said, returning to his desk and placing more fabric on the sewing machine. He hesitated, then said: "But I'll meet you at sundown at the castle entrance, if you desire."

Alice nodded, a little disappointed since she would have no one to hold a conversation with after she left him (apart from that dreaded cat), but knew it was probably best if he had some time to himself. She left,and closed the door behind her, smiling with satisfaction. Perhaps she could make things right between them, and recover her memory - and perhaps then this world would start to make sense.


	7. Chapter 6: A Raven For Remembering

**A/N: Things are crazy around here, but I've somehow managed to get this finished. The world seems pretty determined to make sure I don't get this done – even my own father is berating me for how much time I've spent writing! Regardless, this thing is (somehow) still going, and I hope to keep it that way.**

**Also, thank you for all your reviews so far. You wouldn't believe how helpful they are. Please let me know how you like this next installment!**

**And finally: enjoy!**

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The Hatter didn't come.

She waited until the sun had all but set for him to arrive. When it finally did, she began to pelt herself with worrisome questions: Did she hear him correctly about meeting at sundown? Did the sun operate differently in Underland? Or…perhaps he changed his mind?

Alice stood in front of the palace gates, unsure if she should go back inside and look for him or continue waiting. She didn't know how much time had passed – _not that Time passes down here, of course,_ she thought, her mind wandering for a millisecond – when she saw the White Queen scurrying her way. It wasn't until then that she could tell that Mirana, who only appeared to be floating in mid-air most of the time, actually had _feet_.

"Alice, my dear," said the lady with a pant, resting her dainty hand on Alice's shoulder for support. It was the first time the queen had actually come in physical contact with her. Most of the time, Mirana seemed almost Godlike, strong and capable, never needing the support of others. It was apparent now that she was distressed, and she looked much more vulnerable than usual. Her whole body hung limp, but her eyes had a strange, wild glint in them that Alice had never seen before. She did not look like the airy White Queen Alice had met a few days prior – it unnerved her.

"What is it?" Alice asked cautiously. Mirana took her wrist and lead her back inside the castle, the other hand lifting her skirts as she seemed to fly on her feet. The queen's hand felt like ice on Alice's skin; she started and almost pulled away at the feel of it. Humans shouldn't be able to live with such a body temperature, that much she knew. But then, Alice also knew that some things in this place were best not to be explained

"We have…a slight problem," said the queen, her voice rising with unusual anticipation. Once they reached inside the castle, the woman spun Alice around, hardly giving the girl a moment to breathe as she began to bombard her with questions.

"Have you seen the Hatter?"

"Well…yes, but -"

"Where did you see him?"

"At the royal millinery. Chess –"

"When did you last see him?"

"I can't tell you, time doesn't exist here!" said Alice exasperatedly, finally pulling her hand away from Mirana's tight grasp (it only got colder the harder she clenched it). "He arranged to meet at sundown, at the castle's entrance, but he didn't show."

Mirana's started to pace frantically, figures over her lips and murmured words spewing out from them. Alice tried to get her attention more than once, but it was as if she was in a trace – nothing could break her attention. Alice started to worry. Was Hatter lost? Without a second thought, she ripped up the stairs and made her way to the millinery as fast as she could (hoping she wouldn't get terribly lost along the way). Hatter wasn't in some sort of trouble, was he?

She managed to retrace her steps correctly, but when she opened the massive doors to the millinery this time, there was no Hatter to be found. Everything was dead still. And dead quiet. Without the Hatter's presence, the enormous room seemed to weigh down on her, and she felt like every hat from every corner of the room was watching her. She scurried over to the man's work desk. Materials were neatly put away, all the scattered fabrics from before neatly rolled up. There was just one item that was strangely out of place…

"He left his hat."

When Alice returned to the main hallway where she had left the queen, she found a small army had arrived in her absence. Mally, McTwisp, and a hoard of unrecognizable animals huddled around the White Queen, loudly squawking, stuttering and conversing amongst themselves. But when Alice spoke, everyone froze.

Silence thickened the air. Everyone traded worried looks and knowing glances. Not a single sound slipped from their lips, beaks and muzzles. Then, it was Mally who finally said what everyone was thinking.

"He never goes anywhere without his hat…"

Alice sat on the marble staircase, where she was standing when she re-entered. She thumbed the leather-bound cap in her hands, unsure of what all this meant. The others were quite obviously distraught at the Hatter's disappearance. Alice couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she had something to do with it.

"It wasn't you," said Mirana, again having that impossible ability to read the girl's every thought. "It's something else. Something I was hoping Hatter wouldn't find out about yet…"

"But, obviously, he _has_," said Mally, with as close to a growl a dormouse could get in its voice.

"And there's no stopping him now," said the Dodo bird dejectedly.

"I'm sick of everyone speaking in _riddles _all around me!" said Alice as she jumped up from her stair, looking like she was really to pounce on the others, burning up with frustration and anger at her own ignorance. Most of the creatures looked shocked at her behavior. Alice wasn't the type to lose her temper, but even she had her limits. But she could tell that it was getting the better of her, so she took a deep breath, tried her best to compose herself, and said in the calmest voice she could manage: "Please, I just want to know: _what's going on?_"

The others exchanged looks, silently debating over the young woman's demand. Alice was about ready to either lash out or leave the scene when McTwisp finally spoke. "Y-you remember the Oraculum I told you about the other day, Alice?"

Alice nodded, mentally deciding that rabbits were _wonderful_ creatures, _especially _white ones.

"I am the Keeper of it. A long time ago – the first time you were here – the Oraculum had a different Keeper. His name was Absolum. But shortly after you left, he moved onto another life, and thus another world, leaving me behind to be the Keeper of the Oraculum instead."

"You're the Keeper of quite a few important things, aren't you?" said Alice with a warm smile. Since she arrived, that white rabbit was the only one who was kind enough to explain this bizarre world to her, as well as constantly show compassion and chivalry towards the young woman every time they've met. Perhaps it was just the way he was raised, but Alice was grateful to him for it all the same. Besides, she had a feeling that the poor creature didn't get nearly enough credit that he deserved.

The rabbit's cheeks turned a bit red with bashful pleasure at her compliment, Alice guessing (probably correctly) that he didn't receive them very often. "W-well, a-any way…no one is supposed to read the Oraculum but me. And I'm not supposed to tell anyone of the Oraculum's readings, except for the Queen. It's only proper that the Queen would know about the future of her kingdom, but if everyone knew what the Oraculum had to say, things could…g-get out of hand."

Alice frowned, connecting the dots to the current situation. "Hatter got a hold of the Oraculum, didn't he?"

"I'm afraid so," said Mirana with a sigh. "It's partly my fault, I suppose. I refused to tell him any of its readings, including those involving you, which he was most concerned about. It was the law that I couldn't. But unfortunately, it must've driven him to take desperate measures…"

"H-He m-managed to find it…while I wasn't guarding it," explained McTwisp miserably, starring down at is feet with lowered ears. Alice gave him a sympathetic look, wishing she was the proper size to give him a hug. The poor rabbit really did need a vacation.

"Hatter is mad, but he isn't a fool," said Mally with a huff. "He wouldn't've run off without a word unless he saw something bad." She gave the White Queen a piercing, accusatory look, waiting for an explanation.

Everyone was now starring at Mirana, including Alice. McTwisp and his queen exchanged glances. All was silent for a few seconds. The White Queen sighed, finally giving in.

"The Oraculum hasn't given us all the details," started Mirana slowly, "But this much we can confirm is true…"

"Majesty?" squeaked the white rabbit nervously, unsure the decision she was making was the right one. But Mirana continued, with all the calmness and grace that a regal could possess. She didn't even blink when she uttered her next fateful words:

"Stayne has returned to Underland."

The effect was immediate. The Dodo bird squawked indignantly, the March Hare screamed and threw the spoon in his hand in a random direction with exuberant force (hitting a White Knight nearby, grateful the creature hadn't been holding a fork), and Mally screeched Outlandish curses from the top of her tiny lungs, swishing her sword pin this way and that.

Alice was the only one who didn't say a word. She sat down on the marble staircase, hat still in hand. Par usual, she had no idea what was going on.

She turned the hat in her fingers, staring at its details in silence. Everyone else was barraging the White Queen with questions. The only one who wasn't, apart from her, was Chess, who had disappeared once again. Alice had the impression that the cat didn't care much for conflict. Not that she embraced it herself; at the moment, she was rather wishing she had the ability to evaporate.

Alice wasn't sure if she was supposed to stay or if she could go. She tried slipping out of the room, but when she did, Mirana gave her a look that could stop an angry moose in its path, and Alice was quickly sitting on the staircase once again. Obviously, Mirana's business with her was not through.

She sighed, gazing down at the strange-looking hat in her possession. It had the oddest patterns and ornamentation. Two green peacock feathers, as well as various colored pins, stuck out from the pink satin ribbon laced around the rim of the hat. Also tucked into the ribbon was a card. It was as small as a playing card, with the numbers 10/6 printed on it. Its shape and size stuck out amongst the other oddities on the hat; curious, Alice took the card out to study it closer. Its edges were frayed, bordered in a dirty grey tint, like a picture that was partly scorched by a ravenous fire. Alice pondered over this, as well as the significance of the numbers written on it.

She turned the card over. On it was a badly-scribbled drawing of some kind of bird. It was colored in completely black, the handiwork obviously of a child.

_A raven for remembering…_

Alice dropped the card and the hat along with it. Her heart pounded as those words reverberated in her eardrums. She frantically looked this way and that for the source. Over everyone else's constant bickering, that childish voice broke through as clearly as daylight and rose above all the others. Alice trembled, and reached down for the card.

She stared at the distorted drawing. And the voice came again.

_A raven for remembering…it's for you…_

This time there was no mistake. The stranger's voice had not come from anyone around her. It had come from her own mind.

She squinted her eyes and stared at the raven with all the effort she could muster. She wasn't just looking at the picture – she was trying to look beyond it, _into_ it. If Alice's eyes could do wonders, such an intense look would burn a hole through the paper or cause the creature to fly off the page. Her mind turned clocks and screws, painfully trying to start up a rusted part of her memory. In a few moments (to what Alice felt like eternities – though they could've been for her, who knows what Time was thinking at the moment), a blurred image straightened out in her mental eye…

* * *

_A long table is set out, china disorderly set all around. Forks are balancing on teacups, scones are swimming in the gravy picture and teapots are stacked up at least five feet high. Vibrant colors burst from every angle of the table, colors that would make the world's most renowned painters bow their heads in shame. The sun is shining strongly, though the surrounding trees offer the partygoers comforting shade. Seated at the table is a Dormouse (a smile plastered on her face, a rare commodity) a March Hare (who was tossing the sugar bowl up in the air repeatedly), and a man with long, red, frizzed hair, glowing green eyes and a wide smile – the Hatter._

_But there is an unfamiliar guest at the table as well. A little girl with long, blonde hair, wearing a blue dress with a white apron. She's smiling as the Hatter talks, laughing as the March Hare performs his antics, trying her best to sip her tea in a ladylike fashion (but this is proving more and more difficult, what with the Hatter always making her move down one seat for some reason). All are joyful and content._

_But as the sun sets, the young girl rises from her seat, saying she must go. Unhappy faces are all around, but none as sad as the Hatter's._

_"Your hair needs cutting," is his only mumbled response as the girl says tells him goodbye. The girl smiles, telling him she perfectly likes her hair its current length; if anything,_ he_ was the one who needed to give his orange mess of hair a trim. She succeeds in getting him to crackle a little with laughter. The two of them share a smile. He kneels down, presumably to hug her goodbye, but the little girl swipes the hat off the man's head before he gets a chance._

_She runs with it into the woods, laughing all the way. She can hear him calling after her in his Scottish brogue, though he can be heard laughing as well. She plops herself behind a large tree and, thinking the man is far enough behind him, she takes out a piece of charcoal from her apron pocket, and starts to draw on his 10 shillings 6 pence card. _

_"I found ye!" says the Hatter, smiling but obviously out of breath. Before he even has a chance to demand for his hat to be returned, she hands it back. The Hatter frowns, noticing instantly that something is missing. Then the girl reaches out and puts the card in his hand. His eyebrows furrow in confusion for a moment, but then he chuckles. _

_"It's a raven," the girl explains, "A raven for remembering. Like your riddle. It's for you to remember me by."_

_"Dear girl," says the Hatter, "I don't see how remembering has anything to do with ravens. It's all quite absurd." _

_"Of course it is. That's how it's supposed to be, silly." They smile at each other knowingly, and the Hatter proudly tucks the card back into his hat. The girl curtsies, the Hatter bows, and the girl runs off into the forest, waving her hand as she goes._

_"Fairfarren, Alice…"_

_

* * *

_

Alice gasped as the scene faded away in her mind. She hadn't left her spot on the marble staircase the entire time, yet she sweat and shook like someone who had just ran all the way to the tea-table in the forest and back. Her mind suddenly felt like it was about to explode, pressure mounting higher and higher with questions begging for answers, more than she had every _dreamed_ of thinking of before. Everything was jumbled and upside-down, but at the same time, things were finally coming together in Alice's mind.

Because now, looking back on that scene that has been filled with strangers, it all suddenly made sense. They weren't strangers at all. And that little girl…that little girl was _her_. It was her first memory – her first memory of Underland.

But nothing else. No other memories came to mind – they were once again locked tightly behind the vaults of her mind. But this time, Alice had a hint as to where to find the key.

She repeated that simple word over and over in her mind. _Raven, raven…rrrrr…._that single sound was important, familiar, a tiny piece of a very big picture. It wasn't just the word, it wasn't just the raven. It was something said, something said a long time ago that she had to remember. She paced back and forth, the buzzing around her nothing compared to the words bouncing back and forth in her mind.

_Rrrr…raven…what other words start with 'R'?...ramble, ruin, riddle…_

Riddle! That was it, a riddle. _But _what_ riddle?_ pondered Alice, pacing like a hound dog hot on the trail. She looked back on the scene that she had just re-witnessed in her mind. Who was with them? The March Hare, the Dormouse….

"Mally!" Alice nearly screamed. Everyone else spun around in place, not having noticed her discontentment until that moment. Alice ran over to the dormouse and got on her knees right in front of her, who (for once) looked taken aback and quite uncomfortable.

"Mallymkun," said Alice, "What was the riddle?"

"I…I don't know what you're talking about, girl," said the dormouse with a hopeless shrug.

"_The_ riddle Mally, _the_ riddle," Alice said with such urgency, she would've shaken the dormouse's shoulders if they had been of equal size. Mally began to back away, the next closest thing to fear in her eyes. Alice could imagine that she looked quite mad at that moment, but for once she didn't care.

"I…ah…_the_ riddle?" asked Mally nervously, "What riddle?"

"_Hatter_'s riddle!" said Alice aloud just as the realization came to her. She didn't know where it came from or how, but when she remembered it just seemed to fit for some reason – of course the riddle would belong to Hatter. She was so close now, she knew she was…and if she wasn't, Alice didn't think her mind would be able to stand the spinning and the pressure for moment longer.

But then, Mally's eared perked up, remembering something and understanding Alice for the first time.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Then, it all came back. Like a tidal wave breaking against the sand, all her memories of Underland came back in one giant, all-powerful swoop. She remembered falling down the rabbit hole, being chased by the Bandersnatch, the Tea Party where time has frozen over…infiltrating the Red Queen's castle at Salazen Grum, fleeing with the Vorpal Sword to Marmoreal, running from her responsibility as Champion…and then embracing it, and slaying the dreaded Jabberwocky once and for all. The feel of the creature's violet blood running down her throat…a voice whispering in her ear…a man's eyes fading into the mist…

_"Fairfarren, Alice…"_

In just a blink of an eye, it was all there. Nothing of before or after, of her time spent in Upperland, but all of her life in-between. Being hit with such a wide array of memories at once nearly knocked her to the floor. But there was one thing in particular that was clearest in her mind. A name she had forgotten, a promise she had lost. But she had remembered again, and it rung out in her mind over and over again, until she had to yell it aloud –

"Tarrant Hightopp!"


	8. Chapter 7: The Bloody Red Knave

**A/N: Forgive my delay on this latest chapter. Hopefully, you guys haven't forgotten about this story after all this time!**

**A super, super big thanks to my new beta**_**, **__**Amaranthea**_** (wanderamaranth**** on LifeJournal)! Thank her for the spelling and grammar not being nearly as atrocious this time around…and blame me for any other mistakes!**

** EDIT: Sorry for reuploading this, but something must've messed up when I uploaded the document, with so many words randomly placed together. (Or maybe I just shouldn't upload documents in the middle of the night.) Anyway, the majority of the errors should be fixed now~  
**

**Please, review and enjoy!**

"Tarrant Hightopp!"

After she yelled his name at the top of her lungs, with memories flooding and jumbling her mind, everything that she did was just an impulse. She dashed out of the Great Hall in an absolute frenzy, half-unsure of where her feet were taking her, and yet unsurprised when she found herself at the stable doors. Her actions were just mimicking her thoughts, a response to the overwhelming truth that whispered deadly in her mind.

_Tarrant has gone after Stayne._

She knew it was true. And she knew that he was after him because of her. She didn't know why, but after all this time of trying to find sense in everything around her, Alice finally remembered that Underland runs on _nonsense_. You don't think, you _act_. And right now, that was all Alice was allowing herself to do.

"Bandy!" Alice yelled as she swung open the stable doors. The Bandersnatch's eyes instantly lit up at her the affectionate nickname for him, and he knew that _the _Alice he knew was finally back. He panted happily as he leaped for his friend, and Alice was unable to keep from laughing at the feel of his wet tongue attacking her skin. Pushing him away to get his attention, she looked into his beady eyes, all business once again. "I need your help."

With a gruff yelp, the Bandersnatch pressed his forehead against Alice's arm in a sign of loyalty, and then leaned down to allow the girl to get onto his back.

Everyone was gathered outside the main entrance to the palace when she returned, all eyes wide. Alice, however, didn't bat an eyelash as she approached riding the Bandersnatch. She then said to Mirana: "Do you still have the Vorpal Sword?"

Mirana, for once in her life, was so shocked that even _she _couldn't find the proper words to say. She kept opening her mouth, expecting words to come out, but only stood there in silence, blinking and uttering half-syllables in response.

"Majesty?" Alice prodded, a little less urgently. Mirana closed her eyes and turned her head at an angle, coming back to her senses (though that shell-shocked look was still plastered on her face).

"I…I keep it in the royal armory. Why –"

"I need it," said Alice, hopping off the Bandersnatch. "And I need Tarrant's hat. Would you be so kind as to retrieve the Sword for me?"

Mirana could only nod, leaving Alice to go back inside herself while the White Queen pointed to silently order some soldiers to get the Vorpal Sword. Tarrant's hat was right where she left it on the marble staircase. Picking it up, it felt like she was finally seeing and greeting the hat – and its owner – as her old friend.

Which brought her back to the matter at hand. She ran back outside with the hat in her hands, finding Mirana already prepared with the legendary Vorpal Sword in hand. But when Alice reached for it, Mirana pulled away.

"Alice," she started, looking at her like a mother who must lecture her ignorant child, "You do realize that the Vorpal Sword's legend is complete? It no longer has a will of its own, and will no longer fight for you – you must wield it completely."

The young blonde, however, was completely unmoved. "I realize that," she said firmly, "But I still need it. If you would be so kind, Mirana?"

The White Queen stared in silence at the Alice who stood before her. This young woman had nothing but determination and strength in her eyes as she stared straight back into the queen's, waiting for a response. Such a look hadn't been seen on Alice's face since she had left Underland the second time. This was not the confused and frustrated Alice who had stood on her staircase just minutes earlier – this was _the _Alice. The Alice who had faced the dreaded Jabberwocky and not only survived, but won. The Alice who saved her entire kingdom – no, this entire _world_ – from ruin. Their Alice - _the_ Alice - had finally returned.

Mirana hadn't noticed a crystalline tear sliding down her cheek until Alice suddenly took her in her arms. Those arms that had been powerful enough to destroy a mortal enemy, and yet to Mirana, they seemed so tender and frail.

"I'm glad to be back, Mirana," whispered Alice with a loving smile. They continued to look into each other's eyes, tears threatening to bubble over into both. For a second, Alice felt like breaking down her wall of will completely, surrounding herself with all her old friends, laughing and having tea as they reminisced. It was a perfect picture, a picture that Alice all but yearned to fall into. But a moment later, they both regained their air of formality and seriousness – they both knew what they had to do first.

Besides, that perfect picture couldn't be complete without her Mad Hatter in it.

"My Champion," said Mirana with a curtsy, her hands outstretched with the Vorpal Sword in them. With a tight grasp on the handle, Alice took her old companion and fellow soldier, and lifted it to eye's length. _Well, it definitely heavier then any of my fencing blades_ Alice admitted to herself, struggling a bit to keep her hand from shaking. But its weight and density were familiar to her, and she knew that she could wield it again if need be.

Wrapping a scabbard around her waist that another White Soldier had brought for her to hold the Vorpal Sword, Alice turned to face the crowd of her old friends. That pang of weakness threatened to take over again – how she wanted to take up every one of them in arms and hug them and kiss their cheeks! – but she straightened her back and hardened her eyes with resolve instead.

"I need a Tracker," Alice called out into the crowd, raising Tarrant's Hat high. "Someone who can follow the Hatter's scent." (For it was common knowledge to Underlandians that the Bandersnatch, as great a Hunter as he is in nature, has not the nose for being a decent Tracker.) She looked over to the family of Bloodhounds. "Bayard, will you or any of your family be willing to help me?"

A black Bloodhound with golden rings around its eyes stepped up from behind Bayard. Alice recognized that it was one of the Bloodhound's pups, now fully grown. For a second, Alice contemplated how it was that _anything_ grew in Underland, since Time doesn't exist in the place. But that was a question for another time.

"Brodler, at your service, m'lady," said the Bloodhound, raising his head high. Bielle, Bayard's mate, also stepped forward.

"I will go as well," she said, "I am familiar with Hatter's scent." As if predicting what Bayard had to say about his son and his mate chasing after the highest criminal of the law, the bitch growled meaningfully at him before he even had the chance to protest. Bayard visibly backed down, but lovingly licked Bielle on the nose and whined ever so slightly. _Be careful,_ he seemed to be saying in that language that can only be spoken without speaking a word. Bielle nudged his muzzle in return with reassurance. _I will_.

Alice's smile grew bittersweet at the sight of the Bloodhound family. She hadn't had a family in such a long time. She missed being able to speak without saying a word, the slightest touch meaning more to her than could ever be explained. She lost that when her father died.

But now, she had a new family. And she wouldn't be willing to lose it as easily as she did the first time.

Alice lowered the hat to the two Bloodhounds, who started sniffing it rapidly and then the air around them. With a commanding bark, Bielle made it clear that she had caught Tarrant's scent. Alice lept onto the Bandersnatch and, without even time to say goodbye to her friends, took after the two Bloodhounds who were already hot on the trail.

They were soon galumphing out of Marmoreal's green borders and into the Red Desert. None of the creatures tired for even a second in their chase as the minutes (it couldn't've been hours or days, for the sun hadn't set…could it?) flew by. The wind and sand stung Alice's eyes something terrible, but she didn't once stop. After a Time, the mountains next to the Witzend, the border that separated Underland from the Outlands, became visible.

Running through the rocky terrain was a bit of another challenge in itself, but their pace only lagged slightly. They made it to a higher plane of jagged rocks when Bielle halted to a stop. She grabbed her child by the back of its neck, causing Brodler to whine, but a deep growl from Bielle quickly silenced him.

Alice slid off the Bandersnatch as quietly as she could, and walked up behind Bielle, careful not to disturb the earth and create noise. "What is it?" she whispered, and Bielle nodded to a large bolder, baring her teeth aggressively. "He's very close."

Alice climbed onto the boulder swiftly, careful not to give away her position. She peeked over its edge and looked downhill. Below her was a small field, a dip in the mountain range. And no more than twenty feet ahead of her was Tarrant – clashing blades with Stayne.

She slid down the rock, her pulse rocketing. She had forgotten what that hateful man looked like after all this time. The fire burning in Stayne's eyes was not something that could be recreated in her memories – nor anything she would want to remember. A part of her – that girlish, submissive, un-muchy part of her that she couldn't be completely rid of – wanted to run away. She didn't want to face that man again. She would gladly live out the rest of her life without him laying his evil eye on her, that single eye that roamed her skin with possessiveness and lust (she wasn't a complete fool – she knew even back then what unmentionable things Stayne was implying when he cornered her in the Red Queen's castle).

But Tarrant was there. And he needed her help. The two could only clash blades for so long – eventually, one of them would have to give in. And as great a fighter Tarrant was, Stayne had the obvious advantage in size. She couldn't leave with the possibility that Tarrant might lose their duel. There was no doubt in her mind of what Stayne would do then.

"Bielle, Brodler," she whispered, indicating for them to come forward. "Go as quickly as you can to Marmoreal. Tell them where Stayne is; bring White Soldiers to capture him. I'll stay here and make sure Tarrant doesn't get hurt. Go as fast as your paws will take you."

Without a second thought, Brodler was off. But Bielle was not as mindlessly obedient as her son. She stared hard Alice, clearly not liking her idea at all.

"I'm not leaving you here to face Stayne alone," the she-Hound growled quietly. "You don't know what he's capable of."

"I won't be alone, I'll have Bandy," Alice said as confidently as she could. "And he's a good measure bigger and fiercer than Stayne." (Although Alice herself wasn't sure if the latter was true.) "And I need both of you of carry the message, in case anything was to happen to one of you."

"Alice, I couldn't let you –"

"_Go_," Alice hissed, with the power and commandment in her voice that only a Champion could possess.

Bielle growled (more protectively than irritably), but obeyed nevertheless, and took off after her son.

Alice looked back to the Bandersnatch and motioned for him to stay where he was, and put a finger to her lips. Something close to a nod conveyed the creature's comprehension. Sliding down the hill as silently as she could, she went from the previous boulder to one that was just up ahead. She could hear the two of them more clearly now. Tarrant's screeching Outlandish was slightly more comprehensible now, but it was the ex-Knave's voice that made her body shake - even more vigorously when she listened to what he was saying.

"Of course she doesn't remember you!" she could hear him cackle over the clangs of metals meeting. "That's what she said last time – and you saw how true to her word she was that time, didn't you?"

Alice felt her heart squeeze at Stayne's pointed words, hurting her more so at the knowledge that they were true. _I remember now, Tarrant!_ she wanted to call to him. _And I promise I'll never forget again..._

"Alice isn't nae _kimmer_ tae break a promise," Tarrant yelled, his brogue heavy in his fury. "The lass's got more honor in 'er littl' finger than yae'v got in yaer whole_ muckle_ o' a bein'!"

Alice climbed to the top of the boulder, allowing no more than the top of her head and her eyes to be visible. The two were caught in a violent match; sweat was pouring down both of their foreheads, and both already bore a few scrapes from the ends of the other's swords. Not to Alice's surprise, Tarrant's eyes matched the ferocity in his voice to a tee – they were _blazing_ orange, darker than even his fiery hair.

"Oh, of course it's not a question of honor!" yelled said Stayne, not resting his sword for a moment. "It's a question of _you_. Do you really think you're worth remembering, Hightopp? Some low-down, penniless milliner that's worth less than the dirt under my boot?" He laughed manically. "It's no surprise that she left you to go to her own world! Why would she want to stay and remember _you_?"

That stopped him. Only for a fraction of a moment, but that was more than enough time for Stayne. With one twist of his sword, Tarrant was on his knees, his own sword knocked from his hands. But before he could retrieve it, Stayne attacked. He sliced at Tarrant's chest, causing the man to involuntarily cry out in pain. He panted, obviously struggling to get back on his feet, but Stayne kicked him to the ground. It was all done in a matter of seconds. And in one second more, right before her eyes, Stayne was going to kill him.

But something happened to Alice in that split-moment as well. Something inside of her that stirred at Tarrant's desperate cry. It churned at a rapid pace, over and over in her chest, until she felt as though she was on fire. She had never felt such terrifying power coursing through her veins in all her life.

It was pure, unrestrainable rage. The sight of Tarrant's blood made her shake furiously, made her want to lash out, spill someone's blood with her own hands. And in the smallest corner of her mind, she found herself thinking – _So this is how it feels to be Mad_. But the majority of it had not the patience for contemplation. All of that fury was desperate for some sort of release, and all of it was directed at one target – Stayne.

As she grabbed the hilt of the Vorpal Sword, the Alice of scruples and hesitations was long gone. This was all she knew – _she had to save Tarrant_.

In less time than it took for Stayne to even process lowering his blade down on Tarrant, Alice was dashing down the hill towards him, her Vorpal Sword raised high. And then she was there, right behind the bloody Red Knave, her blade lingering dangerously close to his throat.

"Drop. Your. _Sword_."

Alice was seething as she spoke, every muscle in her body tightened in rage. If anyone she knew from her own world had seen her then, they would've been absolutely terrified. Her words were hard and cold, but there was nothing but passion in those brown eyes. Yet she was controlled and calculating in her gaze, which made her all the more frightful.

With a clank, Stayne's blade dropped to the desert floor. Alice used her right foot to kick it behind her as far as possible. Then, her blade still at his throat, she slowly circled the man until she was finally facing him.

Stayne's eye grew wide in recognition, but his expression then transformed into one of sardonic pleasure. He chuckled darkly, as Alice looked into that one pitiless eye of his. She didn't even flinch when he began to speak.

"Alice…I should've known that you would be back." His voice was like hot lava spurring from his lips, and Alice resisted the urge to shiver at the sound of it. "You lost your long locks in the process, I see."

"What are you doing here?" she snarled, lifting her blade only a tad higher to just graze his chin. "You are supposed to be in exile. Where's Iracebeth?"

Stayne tisked. "So many questions, Alice dear. You always were overly-curious, weren't you?"

But as Alice ever so slightly pressed the sword against the skin of his neck, she made it clear that she wasn't playing games. Stayne knew it too, for she could see his entire body tense in fear as her blade came closer, but he refused to let a hint of alarm enter his eyes.

"As to the latter question," said Stayne with a smirk, "she has long since been dead. I couldn't have that waste of life connected to my wrist forever, could I?

Despite herself, Alice felt a bit sick to her stomach. True, she had no love for the woman, but she _was_ Mirana's sister. And has horrendous as she might have been, Alice could almost feel sorry for the ex-Red Queen – she wouldn't have wished Stayne's wrath upon _anyone_.

"And as for what I'm doing here," he continued, "what do you think, child? Raising a rebellion, of course. Taking what I begged, slobbered and killed for in Iracebeth's court – Underland's crown."

Alice's brows furrowed with anger and confusion. "How could _you_ possibly start a rebellion, Stayne? Life has been better under Mirana's rule than ever before. No one but you would have a problem with her."

"And how would _you _know, having been away for so long?" he spat with a surprising amount of spite, his visible eye burning like a black coal. But the fire was quickly extinguished, deflated; he chuckled and shook his head. "And you would be surprised by what a little twisting of words can do to an unsettled mind, dear Alice. Even to those who wouldn't lift a blade in any other circumstances." The wicked man eyed her, and she wished more than ever that she could slap that cocky grin off his face. "You would know that better than anyone, wouldn't you, Alice?"

Though she remained firm in her stance, Alice hesitated in her mind. Was she doing exactly what Stayne wanted her to? Even now, was she playing pawn to this man's wishes?

"I'm afraid that rebellion isn't going to happen, Stayne" whispered Alice maliciously, her eyes narrowing with grit. "The White Soldiers are on their way right now. And then you'll never again cause trouble in Underland."

Stayne smiled, his teeth protruding like daggers has he whispered back to her:

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, _the_ Alice."

Suddenly, Alice felt something pounce on her. It weighed twice as much as the young woman, and it pinned her to the ground in an instant. It snarled like a giant vicious cat, and it was bathed entirely in black. Its claws dug into her shoulder, and Alice, struggling as best she could to get the creature off of her, let out a pain-stricken scream. The Vorpal Sword had been knocked out of her hand at the creature's attack, and she was defenseless against the animal's fury.

"_Alice!_" - she could hear an Outlandish cry, but it was only barely comprehensible to Alice, who was sure that she was finally going to die at the wrath of something she didn't even know.

But then, Alice heard a ferocious roar, and the weight was suddenly lifted off of her. A massive white paw had knocked the animal off Alice, sending it smashing onto a nearby boulder.

It was the Bandersnatch. It growled protectively, standing in front of the young woman, its rows of shark teeth exposed. The attacking creature - which Alice could finally see was a black panther - snarled and hissed with fury at the both of them. Its legs were positioned to pounce, yet it held back at the sight of the massive creature that crouched before it. There was nothing but bloodlust in its amber eyes, and Alice could tell that it would love nothing more than to take a bite out of her neck.

"Krayl, not now," ordered Stayne, coming to stand beside the ferocious black panther. "The time will come. But we must leave now – we cannot risk our entire operation on this _girl_."

The panther growled and spat, but visibly backed down. The ex-Knave then leaped onto Krayl's back, and before Alice could even call out, they were gone. Back over the hills, and soon, back into the Outlands, where Mirana's power was rendered useless.

Stayne was back, and he was loose. And Alice knew that he'd be back again.

Using the Bandersnatch for support, Alice tried to get back on her feet. She bit back a cry at the wound in her shoulder, but as bad as it looked, she could tell that it wasn't very deep. She had gotten lucky – this time."Thank you, Bandy," she whispered into the creature's ear, rubbing it on its forehead. It closed its eyes in satisfaction, and then slumped to the ground.

She then turned towards the man who was still kneeling on the desert floor, a blade still in his hand, but his body frozen and his technicolor eyes wide. Alice could feel the adrenaline and anger seep out of her body as they were replaced with a softer emotion_. Tarrant._ _We're okay. I remember him. And he's alive._

Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and completely forgetting the wound on shoulder, she kneeled down in front of him and positively threw herself at him. Tarrant remained frozen at the feel of her embrace. She leaned back, worried, and looked into his yellow eyes.

"…Alice?..." he whispered, like a man lost in a dream. "_My_ Alice?''

Alice smiled, and wrapped her arms around him again. "Yes," she whispered tenderly, "_Your_ Alice."

Tarrant finally embraced her back, and uncontrollable tears spilt from Alice's eyes. And as they held each other tight, she could feel a wet tear running down his cheek as well.

"I'm back, Tarrant."


	9. Authors Note

**Authors Note**

I wanted to send a message out to you all to let you know that this story is on temporary hiatus.

There are quite a few reasons for this. First of all, I'm pulling through my freshman year of college, and I have a lot of stuff going on, and still a lot of things to adjust to. Secondly, I honestly have to say that I've lost my inspiration to continue this story at the moment. I've never attempted a full-length fic before, and it takes a lot of motivation and inspiration for me to write one, so I'm finding out. And currently, I'm desperately lacking both of these things – at least in terms of writing fanfic. When school steps in, you learn very quickly that working with a keyboard can get remarkably tiring when you're forced to be on it all the time.

I'm not saying that I'll abandon this story. I actually really want to see this finished, even more than you guys. I just wanted to give you all a head's up that my non-updating streak is going to continue for a while longer. Maybe by Christmas break, when I'm away from constant work and social interactions, I'll pick this up again. Who knows, maybe even sooner. But for now, it's looking grim.

I truly do apologize to my avid readers for this. You all have been so supportive and kind in your reviews, it's truly overwhelming. Not only do I want to continue this for me, but for you all as well. I hope you'll forgive me for keeping you hanging for so long and then dropping this bomb. If you haven't forgotten about this story already, than I ask your patience and understanding in this matter, as well as your forgiveness.

Again, I'm very sorry, and hope to get things back on track relatively soon!

** - LadyBastet92**


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